(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

• Make it or Break It (ABC Family, 8pm):  “Trying to unwind, Payson, Emily and Kaylie head to a high-school party, but the evening isn’t as fun as they thought it would be.” They were lead to believe that ‘keg stands’ were an entirely different thing.”
• The Bachelorette (ABC, 8pm):  “Jillian and her final four head to Spain for flamenco in Madrid and a picnic in Seville.” Their plans are interrupted when Javier Bardem asks her to fly away from the weekend.
• Here Comes the Newlyweds (ABC, 10pm):  “The three remaining couples gaze into their futures by speculating on their 10th anniversaries.” Reality show pairs should only focus on making it to next year.
• Weeds (Showtime, 10pm):  “Silas and Doug are off to see ‘The Wizard,’ a marijuana provider whom they need to supply cannabis for their dispensary.” This wizard can help fly people home, or wherever else they’d like to ‘travel’ to.

• 10 Things I Hate About You (ABC Family, 8pm):  Series premiere. “In the opener, two very different sisters - feminist Kat and social climber Bianca - enter a new high school and deal with their overprotective dad.” RIP Heath Ledger.
• Great American Road Trip (NBC, 8pm):  Series premiere. “Seven disparate families journey across the U.S. and compete in a series of humorous challenges set against landmarks, such as the Grand Canyon and the Washington Monument.” It’s the teetotaling version of Road Rules.
• NYC Prep (Bravo, 9pm):  “Kelli heads to the Hamptons to mourn a death.” Death and the White Party never mix.
• Little Couple (TLC, 10pm):  “Bill and Jen head to Hawaii for a relaxing vacation.” Warning: The last time a TLC couple went to Hawaii, they later filed for divorce.

• Gordon Ramsay’s F Word (BBC, 9pm):  “Pop stars Nicole Appleton and Melanie Blatt prepare angel hair pasta and clams, spiced pork chops with crushed sweet potatoes, and an apple tart.” Contrary to popular belief - pop stars do cook. They just don’t eat.
• Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns (TBS, 9pm):  “Cora pressures Brown to make out his will. Brown’s only conclusion: She’s out to kill him.” He might as well make himself useful.
• The Philanthropist (NBC, 10pm):  “Teddy, Philip and Olivia travel to Paris on business, where Olivia stumbles upon an old friend who is ensnared in a sex-trafficking ring.” That discovery left her one shy of 100 friends on Facebook.
• One Way Out (Discovery, 10pm):  “Things warm up for the host when he licks a hot fireplace poker.” Well, isn’t he the bad ass? Why doesn’t he just gulp down hot chocolate while he’s at it?

• Big Brother 11 (CBS, 8pm):  Season premiere. “Houseguests are introduced and enter the compound for the first time.” For this year’s theme, the network will secretly plant a serial killer and call it Harper’s Island 2.
• The Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Lost Footage (Bravo, 9pm):  “Caroline, Dina, Jacqueline, Teresa and Danielle are featured in previously unseen footage from the series’ inaugural season.” Video of Danielle’s bathroom escapades will not be included.
• Moments of Impact (Discovery, 9pm):  “A squabbling married couple are jettisoned from their boat.” We now have the premise for Open Water 3.
• Southern Belles: Louisville (SOAPnet, 10pm):  “Emily gets career advice from Nancy O’Dell.” Lesson: If you’re going to be sidelined with an injury, at least wait until you start your new gig.

• Surviving Suburbia (ABC, 8pm):  “Steve takes over Anne’s household chores after she gets a job and is surprised at just how much she does at home.” In his previous household, Uncle Joey did all the work.
• The Goode Family (ABC, 8:30pm):  “Gerald gets tricked into eating supposedly meatless chili that has chicken in it, so he confronts a local celebrity chef.” He wants that recipe, and he wants it now.
• What Not to Wear (TLC, 9pm):  “The hosts help an aspiring ballerina who has low self-esteem because her career never took off.” They took her out of a muumuu and back into a tutu.
• Eureka (Sci Fi, 10pm):  Series return. “Deputy Lupo resigns when she learns the new sheriff is a very personable robot.” There’s nothing worse than a coworker who’s perfect and likeable.

• Untamed & Uncut (Animal, 9pm):  “An anaconda attacks a filmmaker.” I smell a Jennifer Lopez comeback!
• Gene Simmons Family Jewels (A&E, 9pm):  “Sophie deals with a cheating boyfriend.” Unfortunately, her parents are the last people she should turn to for advice.
• In Plain Sight (USA, 10pm):  “Raphael’s mother visits and begins planning an engagement party without Mary’s consent.” An unexpected engagement to Cristián de la Fuente? And the problem is…?
• Entourage (HBO, 10:30pm):  Season premiere. “Lloyd angles for a promotion.” That mercury poisoning story he helped sell should at least earn him a hefty bonus.