(You can view TV Envy’s Programming Schedule here.)

• Jon & Kate Plus Eight (TLC, 9pm):  Jon & Kate make some life-changing decisions. Well, Kate technically made the decision; Jon just didn’t want to argue.
• Charm School (VH1, 9pm):  Season premiere. “Former contestants from VH1 reality shows work for charity (and a chance to win $100,000).” No good deed comes without incentives.
• Make It or Break It (ABC Family, 9pm):  Series premiere. “In this drama focusing on the lives of teen gymnasts who strive to make it to the Olympics, new girl Emily Kmetko begins training alongside veterans who are both impressed with and threatened by her.” This could bring a whole new definition to the term “punch front.”
• Run’s House (MTV, 10pm):  “The family rallies around JoJo after he’s charged with marijuana possession.” This whole time they had a connection within the home.

• The Superstars (ABC, 8pm):  Series premiere. “The competition begins in a sports elimination tournament pairing eight celebrities with pro athletes.” It’s like Skating with Celebrities without, hopefully, any skating.
• America’s Got Talent (NBC, 9pm):  “The talent show opens with preliminary auditions taped in theaters across the country. Nick Cannon is the new host, replacing Jerry Springer.” Don’t worry - they didn’t hassel the Hoff.
• Mental (FOX, 9pm):  “After a movie star has a mental breakdown on a talk show, he claims to the hospital staff that he faked the psychotic episode to publicize a new movie in which he plays a mental patient.” Years later, James Lipton will call his method of acting “brilliant.”
• Hawthorne (TNT, 9pm):  “Kelly tangles with an ornery and demanding patient (Cloris Leachman).” Now she knows how Corky Ballas felt.

• Gordon Ramsay’s F Word (BBC, 9pm):  “British TV host Kate Garraway challenges the host to beat her recipe for bread-and-butter pudding.” Back up a second—someone turned stuffing into a pudding?!?
• Your Worst Animal Nightmares (Animal, 9pm):  “A snake cuddles up with a sleeping surfer.” GloWorms don’t seem so creepy anymore.
• Primetime: Questions for the President - Prescription for America (ABC, 10pm):  “President Obama fields questions on health-care reform from US citizens selected by ABC news in a forum telecast from the East Room of the White House.” For some reason, I find myself missing the town hall debates with McCain. Weren’t those fun?
• The Real World: Cancun (MTV, 10pm):  Season premiere. “Eight strangers arrive in Cancun, Mexico and check out their digs in the opener.” One night out on the town and those strangers will be bed best buddies.

• Samantha Who? (ABC, 8pm):  New episode. “Sam dates a rock star (Duran Duran’s John Taylor) that was an idol during her youth, but she has no recollection of her former feelings about him.” She later finds herself disturbed out when he says he’s “hungry like the wolf.”
• Real Housewives of New Jersey: Watch What Happens Reunion (Bravo, 9pm):  “The Garden State wives dish on the diva dramas of Season 1.” For everyone’s safety, the furniture will be nailed to the floor.
• Raising Sextuplets (WE, 10pm):  “Jenny opts for plastic surgery to repair damage from her pregnancy, but not all members of her family agree with her decision to go under the knife.” Only those who have popped out six get to have a say.
• Southern Belles: Louisville (SOAPnet, 10pm):  “Julie is very interested in Cody, but she’s unsure if he feels the same way about her.” A couple of tequila shots later, everything’s out in the open.

• Surviving Suburbia (ABC, 8pm):  “The family’s dwindling finances worry Steve as Anne tries to convince Henry the importance of attending college.” At the very least, one should always be armed with a sociology or art history degree.
• The Goode Family (ABC, 8:30pm):  “Helen invites a noted guest to Greenville for the Eco Festival who turns out to be nothing more than a freeloader.” Turns out he loves saving greens, not being green.
• Don’t Tell the Bride (BBC, 9pm):  “A bride wishes for a fairy-tale wedding, but her fiance gambles on a Las Vegas theme, complete with showgirls.” His headliner, Elizabeth Berkley, had lots of room on her schedule.
• What Not to Wear (TLC, 9pm):  “A mother of triplets finally takes some time for herself.” To relax, she invites cameras into her home to judge her appearance.

• Impact (ABC, 8pm):  “With only 39 days until the moon is to collide with Earth, the U.S. military and scientists Alex Kittner, Maddie Reese and Roland Emerson propose competing plans to thwart it, and President Taylor must chose one.” I think that describes how ABC ended up with this movie.
• Merlin (NBC, 8pm):  “When a strange plague strikes the town of Camelot, Gaius suspects the source is sorcery.” Centuries later, the CDC would link the same symptoms to food poisoning.
• JONAS (Disney, 8:45pm):  Special time. “Joe joins the school orchestra to impress a girl, but he needs to compose a classical piece to prove he’s a serious musician.” He later decides it’s just easier to date an actress than another musician.
• Hung (HBO, 10pm):  Series premiere. “The comedy introduces Ray Drecker (Thomas Jane), an ill-starred high-school teacher and coach who hopes to change his luck by turning a prodigious physical endowment into a moneymaker.” Some teachers use their minds to make meth on the side, others depend on their brains.