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How to Deal with the Relationship Red Flags
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, How To, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,
Sometimes women put up with quite a bit from a guy to make a relationship work out. We ignore some obvious signs that this guy might not be the one, all for the hopes that everything will work itself out. Sometimes these red flags are waiving right in our faces and we push them aside. For what? To not be single, or alone? Sometimes, it’s just not worth it.
Half a decade ago I was in a really bad situation with one of those “bad boys”. You know, that guy who is so bad for us, but for some reason we must have. The guy that we think we can change (which never happens by the way). After the first three weeks of dating this guy, he completely blew up at me, I mean he had a MAD temper and it came out early (lucky for me right?). So of course I ended it. Hello? Major red flag! I didn’t want to be with a guy who yelled for no reason, right? The he apologized. And for some reason I gave him a second chance. I don’t think most women would, but I did. I liked the idea of him (having a boyfriend) and of course, thought I could change him.
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Health Bulletin #1: The disease that poses as a UTI—and affects more than 1 in 300 women
Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Editorials, Health, How To,
I’ve been thinking about the best way to start blogging about health issues that really matter to women. And I decided that, in addition to product reviews, exercise and eating advice, etc., it’d be a good idea to spend some time each week focusing on a particular health threat. Why not start with one that’s close to my heart (and bladder)?
One lovely Sunday morning about seven or eight years ago, my mom cornered me before breakfast and asked if I could have gonorrhea. I sputtered and shook, furious that my own mother could think I had an STD. I told her that I hadn’t put in the dirty work for that one, and we awkwardly moved on. But the truth is, her question was valid. For about a year, I’d been getting frequent urinary tract infections (UTIs), but as of late, every test had come back negative. No bacteria, no infection; I was fine. Fast forward four years. I had just graduated from college and reached a sulky sort of resignation that I would simply always have “my” symptoms: stinging pain when I peed, urgent/frequent urination (often with nothing to show for my effort), and pain in my bladder/pelvic region. Then my grandmother said the two magic words: interstitial cystitis.
He Crushed You and Now He Wants You Back
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Celebrities, Entertainment, Relationships,
Did anyone watch The Bachelor last night? I’m a huge fan and was so excited to see Jason get his chance to make out with 15 girls at once. The best part of the show was when they showed the highlights for the season, and low and behold Deanna Pappas returns!!! I KNEW IT! For those of you who didn’t watch last season, Deanna almost let Jason propose and then yanked him up and told him she was in love with Jesse (who she recently dumped). Honestly, I was shocked she would actually come back to the show and tell Jason she made a mistake. The producers must be thrilled. I cannot WAIT to see what happens.
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Faking a Fresh Face
Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Entertainment, Fashion, How To,
Last night, my husband and I went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. The movie happened to be playing at the fabulous Alamo Drafthouse, so I also had a few glasses of wine. The breakdown, my friends: Things got messy. Very messy. My husband had to keep irritably shushing my sniffling, but it was no use. I was in crying-mode.
Needless to say, I woke up this morning looking a fright. I peered miserably at myself in the mirror, poking at my purplish, swollen eyelids. I washed my face with very cold water, but my skin seemed to become even more dull and blotchy. What kind of movie was worth this kind of casualty? And what could I do to fix it? Luckily for you—and a blessed relief for me—I perfected the fake-fresh formula years ago, and I’m only too happy to share it now.
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Getting Over the Worst Break-Up
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,
I’ve heard some really horrible break-up stories in my day. One of the worst was when my friend got dumped after her boyfriend went away for a vacation. During the period of one week he had met a new girl, brought her home, and moved her in. Oh the heart ache she must have felt. It truly was a horrible way for him to end things. But I remember this particular break-up story because I remember how well she handled it. She was strong, mature, and had no urge to destroy him or his new girl. How did she do it? Maybe she cried every time she was alone or maybe (hopefully) she consumed high levels of alcohol so that she could drown her sorrows away. I knew this girl well and the bottom line was she just got over him, moved on, and never looked back.
I am the polar opposite. My worst break-up ever was with someone I dated for about 8 months. I was 28 he was 30 and we were in love. Things moved pretty quickly and I knew, just knew, he was the one. He was about to be a lawyer, an Italian like me, and we were basically compatible.
So how did he break up with me? The last normal conversation I had with him was amazing. We had agreed to move in together and finally start our lives. Oh my god this was it!! We would live together, get married, have babies, have more babies, renew our vows… and…. um…. yeah, all that other crap. God help me.
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Is (Really) Dark Nail Polish Appropriate for the Office?
Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Fashion, How To,
This question came up over dinner last night with my longtime best friend. Since her career requires pretty no-nonsense work attire—suits and pumps, leave your creativity at the door—she was concerned that the inherent edginess of dark nail polish would seem unprofessional. My reply? Go for the look—but do it right. Below, three tips for pulling off winter’s moody polish trend…without offending your boss’s sensibilities.
1. Keep nails short and well-groomed. Go for a pretty oval shape, with nails not extending past the curve of your fingertips.
2. Dark polish should never look messy. If your application veers toward the shaky side, enlist the help of someone who boasts near-surgical precision.
3. When it comes to color, choose one that’s rich, with a hint of shimmer (not, in most cases, sparkle); a gold or pewter sheen adds sophistication, and is flattering on all skin tones.
My picks for the most luscious dark shades of the season? Try Dark New Skates, a dark, shimmery silver by OPI; Chanel Vendetta, a deep, sexy violent that’s the latest shade in the Le Vernis nail collection; Bewitching Bordeaux, a delicious milk chocolate by Revlon; Indian River Ruby, vampy, velvety, and organic by Nomiss Healthy Alternative Products; Dior Vernis in Mystic Violine, arguably similar to Indian River Ruby, but gorgeous enough to include here; and finally, Russian Navy by OPI.
You’ll note that there are no black polishes on this list, despite the slew of offerings by both luxury and drugstore brands. The reason is simple: I’m over black. It’s no longer goth, edgy, new, or trendy to me; besides, with the vast array of other dark and mysterious colors, why sell your digits short—at work or at play? Happy painting!
When Should We Start Worrying About Beauty?
Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Celebrities, Editorials, Entertainment, Fashion, Health, Parenting,
Now, clearly I love the beauty and fashion industry. I delight in it. But this wasn’t always the case. Back in high school, I was the girl who took pride in arriving to class with her hair in a messy wet bun, wearing only lip balm and a snug t-shirt with drawstring pants. Vans were my footwear staple. I considered myself independent, a little bohemian, and I looked scornfully at the girls with smoky eyes and straightened hair. There was also, I’ll admit, a little bit of envy. In their fashion, their stilettos that clacked across the beige tiled hallways, those girls had what I didn’t: sex appeal.
Last night, I watched The Devil Wears Prada with my 12-year-old stepdaughter. She is uncommonly beautiful, with no trace of the awkwardness I suffered at her age. She is smart, perceptive, and a budding fashionista. (The night before, she’d killed thirty minutes by trying on half a dozen pairs of my shoes, then texting all her friends back in Seattle about her newfound love for high-heeled boots.) But as we watched Prada, she’d declare, “Ugh! I have such a big butt!” or “Look at all this baby-flab over my hips! You don’t have any of that!” or “I’m confused. How come my thighs touch when I’m standing up? That’s not right, is it?”
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5 Multitasking Products To Make Over Your Entire Beauty Routine
Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Editorials, Entertainment, Fashion, Health, How To,
In a tight economy, we’re all struggling to make our dollars stretch. So, while multi-tasking beauty products are nothing new, I’ve scoured the Internet (and, yes, my own deliciously cluttered bathroom shelves) to give you a shortlist of the best. Bonus? After-Christmas sales!
* bare-Minerals Multi-Tasking Bisque: For $18, you get a soft, shimmery eye shadow base and an ingenious concealer for pretty much any facial imperfection, from blemishes to veins to scars. The product also carries SPF 20.
* Two-Faced World Domination All Access Backstage Beauty Collection: At $42 (down from $150), this little set comes with eight shadows, a duo bronzer, a blush, a face illuminator, six lip glosses (!), a brow powder, and an eyeliner cake. If it’s time to clean out your makeup bag, this’d be a smart way to replace all those crusty old compacts.
* Philosophy Cinnamon Buns Ultra Rich 3-in-1 Shampoo, Shower Gel, and Bubble Bath: You don’t want to smell like a hot, gooey dessert, you say? This $16 product could—and probably will—change your mind. Did I mention it’s 3-in-1?
*Smooth Glow Stubble Reducing Daily Moisturizer: Get your glow on in preparation for spring—and shave half as often—with this lotion. Get it for $5.69 at AmericaRx.
* Nu Bra: My personal favorite, these light, self-adhesive cups will save you from wardrobe malfunctions. Wear under halters, strapless tops or dresses, racer-backs, keyhole fronts, looooow v-necks, and even your ordinary, everyday t-shirt. I could rave about this brilliant bra (and have) until somebody shuts me up, but I’ll end with one last, whispered note: You choose your cleavage. Want va-voom, even if you’re an A-cup? You got it. And you D-cups—want to tone it down (as if that’s possible)? No problem. At In the Mood Intimates you’ll find the Nu Bra Ultralite for $24.99—need I say more?
There you have it—five products that will take you from the shower to your front door and beyond (after you put clothes on, of course). The best part? All five combined are less than $100. That’s about as guiltless as a skinny cappuccino…Happy shopping!
How Online Dating Saved My Life
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,
For me, dating was never easy. Although I considered myself mostly extraverted, I was never bold enough to actually approach a random guy. When I was in my early twenties I lived in a small college town. My only real option for meeting new men was out at a bar or through work. I worked at the local college surrounded by women and guys too young to buy beer. And bars? First of all, I’ve never been a big drinker. And most importantly, I could never really take a guy seriously when he’s mostly drunk and probably snuck into the bar using a fake ID.
During my mid-twenties I made a huge move and relocated to New York City. I thought for sure that living in the big city, my dating life would be ignited. Man was I wrong. Now, I do consider myself an attractive woman, but come to find out the ratio of attractive women to men in NYC is quite ridiculous, one hundred to one I think. So I lived there for a year, sucked it up and went to bars, and went on a total of three dates. Three dates. One was with some accountant who was generally nice, but not my type. The other two dates were with a hair dresser who worked on the set of Sex and the City named Sasha (yes, his name was Sasha). Let’s just say that even the idea of possibly meeting Sarah Jessica Parker wasn’t enough to make me stand this guy for another second.
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Are You Really Alone for the Holidays?
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,
It’s that time of year again and this year, Hubby and I are solo in a new city. This is the first year that either of us have not spent the holidays with our families. We finally made the tough decision to try and save some money and have a “romantic” Christmas together.
Only a few years ago, I considered myself alone for the holidays. Actually, many years in a row it always seemed that whatever relationship I was in ended right before the season. “Oh great, alone for Christmas again,” I would say. The worst thing of course was going to see the family and having to hear that dreaded question: “So, dating anyone?” UGH. I wanted to punch that person regardless of whether we had the same last name or not. The first few years that question made me so uncomfortable that I would lie and say, “yes.” Maybe I would make someone up or maybe I would extend my previous relationship and just pretend we never broke up. Either way it made me feel slightly better. If you are in that phase of your life, hey, there’s nothing wrong with a little white lie. Just make sure you are prepared to answer any follow-up questions.
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