(You can view TV Envy’s Summer Television Programming Schedule here.)
(You can navigate NBC’s Olympics schedule here.)

• I Want to Work for Diddy (VH1, 9pm):  “Two members from each team must go to Paris and convince a model that Diddy saw in a magazine to come back to NYC with them and pose for Sean John.” If you want to flatter a girl, don’t send one assistant - send four.
• The Hills (MTV, 10pm): Season 4 premiere. I’m ashamed to say that I know what a ‘Lo’ is.
• Paranormal State (A&E, 10pm):  “A family in Shrewsbury, Mass., claims to have been living with a spirit for 40 years, and all but one family member believe the spirit is malicious.” If they’ve managed to live with it for 40 years, how bad could this spirit possibly be?
• Date My Ex: Jo & Slade (Bravo, 10pm):  “Juvenile tomfoolery back at he house irks Slade and may mean the expulsion of a suitor.” Had this been simply adult tomfoolery, things would have been fine.

TUESDAY (8/19)

• Making the Band 4 (MTV, 9pm):  Season 3. “The season begins with Danity Kane and Day26 going out on a CD-promotional tour.” Is this really even necessary? Aubrey O’Day has done enough promoting for everyone.
• Eureka (Sci Fi, 9pm):  “Events loop for Carter as he repeatedly experiences the same lousy day.” He should try taking up the piano or ice sculpting.
• Food Detectives (Food, 9pm):  “Investigating the cleanliness of complimentary after-dinner mints.” They better not be talking about my Andes mints!
• How to Look Good Naked (Lifetime, 10pm):  “A former model who views herself as out of shape is given renewed confidence to hit the runway again.” If a model needs help to feel good about herself, what does say for everyone else at home?

• Project Runway (Bravo, 9pm):  “RuPaul is the guest judge in a challenge that tasks the designers to create flamboyant attire for drag queens.” Where is Chris March when you need him?
• Mindfreak (A&E, 10pm):  “Criss visits New Orleans, where he puts bystanders into a trance.” When an audience zones out, that’s not necessarily a good sign.
• Taboo (National Geographic, 10pm):  “An Australian health therapist who uses urine as a topical medicine is profiled.” Thanks to Man vs. Wild, I know it’s possible to drink urine…so why not rub it on your skin?
• Scare Tactics (Sci Fi, 10pm):  “A surveyor takes a wrong turn into a minefield.” As if there’s a right turn into a minefield.

• Tabatha’s Salon Takeover (Bravo, 10pm):  Series premiere. “Former Shear Genius contestant Tabatha Coffey begins her mission to revamp struggling hair salons.” I present to you Bravo’s second-hand version of Gordon Ramsay.
• Glam God with Vivica A. Fox (VH1, 10pm):  Series premiere. “Aspiring celebrity stylists begin competing in the areas of hair, makeup and wardrobe, trying to create a distinct look that will prove career-launching.” Launching Vivica’s career could require a whole team.
• Burn Notice (USA, 10pm):  “Michael fools a group of modern-day pirates into pulling a heist so he can locate some stolen cargo.” He convinces them that he’s the Dread Pirate Roberts.
• The Cho Show (VH1, 11pm):  Series premiere. “Margaret is conflicted about accepting an award for Korean of the Year.” She realizes Lost‘s Daniel Dae Kim was far more deserving. After all, he did kind of die this year.

• Meerkat Manor: The Next Generation (Animal, 8:30pm):  “Wilson and roving buddy Phillippe set off on a mission to meet females and possibly find a group they can join.” Wait a second. When did Swingtown change networks?
• The Cheetah Girls: One World (Disney, 8pm):  “Chanel, Aqua and Dorinda travel to India to star in a Bollywood movie, but they soon learn there is only room for one Cheetah Girl, so they each compete for it.” Two words: Cheetah fight!
• Gone Country (CMT, 8pm):  Series premiere. “Contestants head to Nashville for a country makeover and a photo shoot.” They should stay away from the Daisy Dukes. Simpson’s already got that covered.
• Discovery Project Earth (Discovery, 9pm):  Series premiere. “A group of scientists and engineers offer radical plans to save the planet from climate change.” Oh, isn’t that nice. The Earth is finally getting its own show!

• Olympics: Closing Ceremonies (NBC, 7pm):  The controversy surrounding the opening ceremonies can only be overshadowed by one thing: David Beckham.
• Untamed & Uncut (Animal, 9pm):  “A bull causes trouble at a poker contest.” He refuses to believe that Four of a Kind beats a Full House.
• Law & Order: Criminal Intent (USA, 9pm):  Season finale. “Goren finds a picture at his mother’s grave, leading him to suspect an old nemesis has returned.” Nemesis, schemesis. He should be focusing on his mother!
• Mad Men (AMC, 10pm):  “Don finds himself in the middle of personal issues between a TV comedian and the man’s wife.” When you sleep in someone else’s bed, that tends to happen.