(You can view TV Envy’s Summer Television Programming Schedule here.)

• Wanna Bet? (ABC,9pm):  “Corbin Bernsen, Tom Bergeron, Rip Hamilton and Melissa Peterman are the celebs placing the wagers. Stunts include a man trying to kick himself in the head 45 times in one minute.” Wanna bet people only know who half these ‘celebrities’ are?
• Paranormal State (A&E, 10pm):  Season Two premiere. “The team investigates supposed activity at a home, including the mysterious destruction of religious objects and the unexplained appearance of dead animals near the home.” Dead animals? Should they be looking for ghosts or a serial killer?
• Make a Move (DIY, 10pm):  “Amy Wynn Pastor helps newlyweds with their eco-conscious home, including projects like a compost heap, a kitchen upgrade and a wall demolition.” Ah, newlyweds. Always so annoyingly optimistic.
• Weeds (Showtime, 10pm):  “In Mexico, Celia discovers the joys of discounted medicine at local pharmacies.” If only she had known about the $4 generics at her local Wal-Mart.

• Celebrity Family Feud (NBC, 8pm):  “The first season wraps up with a bout between the families of Corbin Bernsen and Margaret Cho.” Wait a second, Bernsen’s also on Wanna Bet! Did someone make a comeback without anyone knowing it?
• Eureka (Sci Fi, 9pm):  Season 3 premiere. “The season kicks off with a hunt for an escaped drone while Samantha Thorne (Frances Fisher) arrives on the scene.” Sadly, I know more about Frances Fisher and her ex Clint Eastwood than I do about this show.
• The Last Lecture: A Celebration of Life (ABC, 10pm):  “Diane Sawyer updates her 2008 profile on Randy Pausch.” Get the Kleenex ready.
• How Not to Become Shark Bait (Discovery, 10pm):  “A team of four men travel to the Bahamas in hopes of being bitten by a shark in order to judge the effectiveness of an anti-shark suit and other countermeasures.” This is what I call backwards thinking.

• Criss Angel: Mindfreak (A&E, 10pm):  “Criss attempts to escape from a building in Miami before it is imploded.” Far easier job than trying to help Britney Spears.
• Run’s House (MTV, 10pm):  “Diggy and Russy are off the honor roll, and Rev comes up with an unusual incentive to get their grades up.” Could the distracting film crews be affecting their homework? Just a thought.
• Scare Tactics (Sci FI, 10:30pm):  “A sasquatch encounter befalls campers in an RV.” This is not be confused with Robin Williams’ hairy performance in the movie RV.
• Dress My Nest (E! Style, 11pm):  “The Apprentice winner Bill Rancic and his wife, TV personality Giuliana DePandi, get a home makeover.” I hate it when annoying people get ‘extra’ help.

• Don’t Forget the Lyrics (FOX, 8pm):  “Singer Kenny Loggins makes an appearance to help a contestant who is an avid rock fan.” While I love me some Loggins, I would only seek his help on adult contemporary questions.
• Fear Itself (NBC, 10pm):  “A rancher gets lost in the woods and becomes possessed by an ancient evil spirit.” I smell another Blair Witch sequel!
• Randy Jackson Presents: America’s Best Dance Crew (MTV, 10pm):  “Missy Elliott performs ‘Shake Your Pom Pom’ with the four remaining crews, then her choreographer Hi-Hat helps the crew fine-tune routines to some of Elliott’s hits.” Now that Jessica Alba‘s a new mommy, she doesn’t have time to choreograph for Elliott Honey-style.
• Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (Bravo, 10pm):  “Kathy ventures on a promotional odyssey and tries attracting the paparazzi with a most-unlikely date.” Did Steve Wozniak not already fill that role?

• Doctor Who (Sci Fi, 8:30pm):  Season Four finale. “The season concludes with the Doctor’s companions making a last stand against Davros and the Daleks with the Doctor and the TARDIS both out of commission.” Someone please interpret for me.
• Meerkat Manor: The Next Generation (Animal, 8:30pm):  “Nikita’s pups are causing chaos at the Commando den.” She better get them under control. Good daycares are hard to find.
• Dr. G: Medical Examiner (Disc Health, 9pm):  “A 41-year-old father dies after a three-day drive to Orlando and an amusement park trip with his family.” Cause of death: exhaustion.
• 20/20 (ABC, 10pm):  “Juju Chang goes on tour with the Jonas Brothers, who discuss their music and their personal lives.” I just hope they finally explain their horrible cover of ‘Kids in America.’

• Bridezillas (WE, 9pm):  “A bride asks for donations to fund her wedding, but splurges on a fancy manicure and pedicure.” But she needs those things. She really does.
• Pam: Girl on the Loose (E!, 10pm):  Series premiere. “Pam plans an estate sale that includes personal items such as her first wedding dress and her Baywatch swimsuit.” She needs to clear some space for the wedding dresses to come.
• Brooke Knows Best (VH1, 10pm):  “Brooke gets to be a celebrity guest at spring break events but struggles with how to balance friends and family when her dad and his wrestling buddy invite themselves to join her.” Partying with his daughter is the least uncomfortable thing Hulk’s done.
• The Two Coreys (A&E, 10pm):  “Feldman invites Haim to come to his home, but Haim arrives to find that it’s an intervention by the Feldmans, Pauly Shore and Todd Bridges.” Those are names I never thought I’d say in one sentence.