(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

• How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8pm):  “The friends crash an upscale party attended by prominent intellectuals, and Ted tries to show off his brainier side.” His theory on the success of “The Naked Man” strategy proved to be an effective ice breaker.
• Unwrapped (Food, 8:30pm):  “Included: a huge jawbreaker that takes three weeks to make.” And only two seconds for your child’s dentist to cash in.
• 24 (FOX, 9pm):  “Jack Bauer goes rogue to discover who’s behind the day’s despicable events.” A strategy that could have come in handy…even a few hours ago.

• Lost (ABC, 9pm):  “Locke’s motives become clear.” I like my Smoke Monster’s intentions hazy.
• Glee (FOX, 9pm):  “Rachel is alarmed when she gets a sore throat.” That’s a problem that could rain on someone’s parade.
• 9 by Design (Bravo, 10pm):  “The Novogratzes discover that economic conditions may harm their home sales.” Hello…have they not been watching Flipping Out?

• The Middle (ABC, 8pm):  “The Heck family throw a barbecue, and Mike worries that he’s passing his social awkwardness on to Brick.” One should only lick fingers after they’ve touched the food.
• 30 Days (Disc Health, 9pm):  “A mother of four who rarely drinks alcohol spends a month binge drinking to teach her children a lesson about the dangers of excessive intoxication.” Those 30 responsibility-free days were the best she had had in recent memory.
• Cougar Town (ABC, 9:30pm):  “Jules’ enthusiasm for Travis’ high-school graduation speech is tempered when she finds out she isn’t mentioned.” To make up for the oversight, he friended her on Facebook.

• Community (NBC, 8pm):  “Señor Chang is replaced as the Spanish teacher after the college finds out he doesn’t have a teaching degree.” Something they should have questioned when he dubbed himself “Señor Chang.”
• Parks and Recreation (NBC, 8:30pm):  “Two state auditors arrive in Pawnee and slash the budget of the Parks and Recreation department, putting Leslie’s plans for a new park on hold.” The department needs to make sacrifices to pay for Rob Lowe.
• Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 9pm):  “Alex treats a troubled teen (Demi Lovato) whose parents say she is schizophrenic.” Most days she’s Sonny with a Chance of Hormonal.

• Medium (CBS, 9pm):  “Youngest daughter Marie’s birthday gift to Joe raises eyebrows.” They were convinced the iPad 3G had been sold out everywhere.
• The Ricky Gervais Show (HBO, 9pm):  “Topics include Inside the Actors Studio.” Should James Lipton really be interviewing Diddy? That could be debated for weeks.
• Garage Mahal (DIY, 9:30pm): “A video-game reviewer creates a soundproof classic arcade in his garage, so he can test his work without disturbing the family.” They actually tuned him out a long time ago.

• Desperate Housewives (ABC, 9pm):  “Susan faces her financial woes.” Nicollette Sheridan suggests suing Marc Cherry.
• The Celebrity Apprentice (NBC, 9pm):  “In Part 1 of the two-part Season 9 finale, former players Bill Rancic and Joan Rivers conduct punishing interviews with the remaining celebs, after which two contestants get the Trump bump.” Don’t know the designer of your outfit? Rivers will see that you’re shunned from the red carpet.
• Breaking Bad (Bravo, 10pm):  “Hank’s stay in the hospital is accompanied by some daunting bills, but Skyler thinks she has a way of dealing with them.” It takes drug money to pay for those good drugs