(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

• Gossip Girl (CW, 9pm):  “Chuck must make a tough choice concerning his hotel.” Unless he passes “Go” again soon, he’s gonna have to mortgage the property.
• Kell on Earth (Bravo, 10pm):  “People’s Revolution feels the sting of a weak economy, so Kelly renfrots out her office space to net more income.” If things don’t get better, she might even allow a few Jersey Shore stars to pretend they work there.
• Greek (ABC Family, 10pm):  “Calvin and Grant quarrel over their spring-break plans.” Calvin doesn’t think it’s a safe time to go to Mexico; Grant thinks the media is overhyping the violence.

• 90210 (CW, 8pm):  “Dixon’s biological mother, Dana, visits, hoping to reconnect with her son, and Debbie confides her fears about Dana to her yoga instructor.” There’s nothing like talking about hot topics with a hottie over hot yoga.
• The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8pm):  “The players receive stationary bikes and and learn they’ll have to ride the distance of a full marathon. They can also add time to an opponent’s ride by eating up to 48 mini-cupcakes.” Eating while someone else works out—finally, a challenge I could win.
• The Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo, 10pm):  “Patti tries to set up a love match for an erstwhile professional volleyball player who admittedly shies away from commitment.” If you’ve ever been spiked in the face, you’d avoid getting close to someone too.

• Survivor (CBS, 8pm):  “Russell and Boston Rob target one another as the next villain to be voted out of the game, but Russell has the hidden immunity idol as security.” Many Survivor brackets hinge upon this particular showdown.
• Fly Girls (9pm, CW):  Series premiere. “The lives of five Virgin America flight attendants are chronicled. In the opener, the ladies work a company party in Fort Lauderdale and welcome a high-maintenance roommate to their California crash pad in Marina del Rey.” After pointing out the nearest emergency exits, the beverage cart is wheeled to welcome their new guest.
• Cougar Town (ABC, 9:30pm):  “Grayson is pursued by a wine rep (Sheryl Crow).” And we thought Lance Armstrong was her biggest mistake.

• The Vampire Diaries (CW, 8pm):  “Damon takes part in a fundraising bachelor raffle.” Bidding went up when he promised a little necking.
• Parks and Recreation (NBC, 8:30pm):  “Leslie hosts a picnic lunch for past directors of the Parks Department, hoping they’ll provide inspiration as she prepares the annual Summer Events Catalog.” The only thing she’s got on NBC’s summer schedule right now are endless hours of America’s Got Talent.
• Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 9pm):  “Callie and Arizona have differing visions of their future.” One sees marriage and babies, the other sees a woman named Shondra Rhimes coming between them.

• Who Do You Think You Are? (NBC, 8pm):  “Actor Matthew Broderick maps his family history and unearths information about a medic in World War I and a hero in the Civil War.” Their hard work and sacrifice helped pave the way for their descendant - Inspector Gadget - during the late ‘90s.
• American Loggers (Discovery, 10pm):  “A rookie with a bad attitude doubles as a reckless driver.” It’s that range of skills that got him the job.
• Spartacus: Blood and Sand (Starz, 10pm):  “On his 15th birthday, Numerius is given a special present—-control over Batiatus gladiators as though the patrician teen was their master.” Experience running multiple Sims families came in quite handy.

• The Celebrity Apprentice (NBC, 9pm):  “The challenge takes a downturn when egos collide on the ladies’ team and one star proves to be technologically inept.” Rod Blagojevich has difficulty realizing when things are being recorded.
• Breaking Bad (AMC, 10pm):  “Despite ever-increasing tension between Walt and Skyler, he pulls out all the stops in an effort to reconcile with the family.” He’s already proven that he’ll do just about anything for them.
• Kirstie Alley’s Big Life (A&E, 10:30pm):  “Kirstie prepares her new line of weight-loss products.” Marketing Tip #1: You should only sell things that have been proven to work.