(You can view the whole Revamped TV Programming Schedule here.)

• Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (FOX, 8pm):  “Sarah meets a stranger (Brian Austin Green) who shares a similar past.”  They were once both white rappers?
• Dance War (ABC, 8pm):  “The touring company of ‘High School Musical’ performs.”  The contestants, now left with inferiority complexes, are unable to go on.
• Flavor of Love (VH1, 9pm):  Third season premiere.  Is it a coincidence that a Flav-ex has since show up on Celebrity Rehab?
• Prison Break (FOX, 8pm):  “The escape attempt is successful for some, if not all, of the escapees.”  Apparently you can miss weeks of this show and not miss a thing.

• American Idol (FOX, 8pm):  Hollywood week means forgotten lyrics, lazy group members and atrocious harmonies.  In other words - this is when things finally start getting good.
• Big Brother 9 (CBS, 9pm):  The ninth season begins with the new couples theme.  I’m guessing Valentine’s Day might feel a bit forced and awkward.
• Nip/Tuck (FX, 10pm):  “Julia finds out why she has been ailing.”  Well she hasn’t done anything this season but sleep around, so I’m betting it may be related to that.
• Jericho (CBS, 10pm):  Second season premiere.  “A new government steps in and restores order, but tensions between Jericho and New Bern continue unabated.”  Why does this sound like an episode of Kid Nation?

• American Idol (FOX, 8pm):  The Top 24 are chosen.  It’s almost time for my betting pool to begin!
• Supernanny (ABC, 8pm):  “Parents of six children seemingly lack the desire to instill any sort of discipline in their chaotic household, which brings about a confrontation between Jo and the mother.”  Uh, why would anyone piss off the person who could save you?
• Cashmere Mafia (ABC, 10pm):  “Zoe rethinks her career after her hard work to snag a client seemingly goes unnoticed.”  She then tries to seek comfort from an unappreciative family.
• Project Runway (Bravo, 10pm):  Tonight Sweet Pea freaks out, Christian criticizes the other designers and Jillian barely gets her garment sewn.  No, it’s not a repeat.

• Survivor: Micronesia (CBS, 8pm):  “Amanda and Ozzy steam up their beach with unbridled passion.”  Apparently hygiene is not a prerequisite when you’re bored.
• NAACP Image Awards (FOX, 8pm):  I normally adore America Ferrera, but even I can’t figure out why she’s scheduled to be there.
• Celebrity Apprentice (NBC, 9pm):  “It’s a bumpy ride for one team when two members viciously butt heads.”  I have been wondering what a Lennox Lewis/Tito Ortiz duel would look like.
• Lipstick Jungle (NBC, 10pm):  “Wendy learns that an inflammatory novel about her is being promoted by her nemesis.”  She then thanks the author for making her life seem a bit more interesting.

• One Life to Live (ABC, check local listings):  Dorian Lord, Vicki Buchanan, Mary J. Blige.  It all makes perfect sense.
• Celine Dion: Just the Woman (CBS, 9pm):  “The singer performs in concert from Los Angeles.”  As long as her son’s hair keeps growing, she’ll keep performing.
• My Big Redneck Wedding (CMT, 9pm):  “A Washington couple plans to get married in the mud with guns, quads and lots of beer.”  I’m from WA, and I’m proud to say I have no idea what a ‘quad’ is.
• Las Vegas (NBC, 9pm):  Special time.  “Thieves storm the Montecito and holds staffers hostage in a bid to pilfer a rare stamp.”  Based on all the show summaries I’ve read, I think I can safely say this casino has the crappiest management staff around.

• American Gladiators (NBC, 8pm):  Special day and time.  The two winners will eventually return as gladiators.  (Assuming Wolf doesn’t eat them first.)
• Knight Rider (NBC, 9pm):  “A former army ranger, an FBI agent and a young woman search for the culprits who want the crime-fighting car KITT.”  So if I were to destroy the car, this movie wouldn’t exist?
• Brothers & Sisters (ABC, 10pm):  “Nora realizes that Isaac is not the man she thought or hoped.”  Honey, they never are.
• Dexter (CBS, 10pm):  “Forensic analyst Dexter Morgan hides his life as a serial killer from his sister, co-workers and girlfriend.”  Ignorance is bliss.