(You can view TV Envy’s Midseason Programming Schedule here.)

• Prison Break (FOX, 9pm):  “Sara is waiting for news of Michael in a luxury hotel, and she’s not enjoying the luxury.” She becomes unreasonably paranoid anytime someone offers to turn down her bed.
• Momma’s Boys (NBC, 9pm):  “The guys go on group dates planned by their moms and individual dates they planned.” Until the big Jay Leno move, NBC will just run MTV’s hand-me-downs.
• The Hills (MTV, 10pm):  Season 4 finale. “Lauren and Heidi run into each other and are reminded of why they used to be friends.” I, quite frankly, could use a reminder as well.
• 17 Kids & Counting (TLC, 10pm):  “The family welcomes the arrival of Jordyn-Grace Makiya Duggar.” Wake me up when they get to “J.Lo.”

• A Home for the Holidays (CBS, 8pm):  “The 10th annual event to raise awareness of adoption. Performers include Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Melissa Etheridge, Jamie Fox and Gavin Rossdale.” It would probably make more sense if these celebrities had an adopted child. I take it Angelina Jolie wasn’t available?
• Party Monsters: Cabo (E!, 8pm):  “Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian host a party for two friends who have never visited Cabo.” Why does a gathering with the J-named Duggars seem more appealing than a party with K-named Kardashians?
• Rediscovered (ABC, 9pm):  “Wannabe stars finally get their moment in the spotlight years after auditioning for casting director Matt Casella, who discovered Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera as kids. Donny and Marie Osmond host.” Apparently an appearance on Dancing with the Stars can jump start anyone’s career.
• A Double Shot at Love (MTV, 10pm):  “The Ikki twins host the third annual ‘bi-athlon which leads to a revealing pool party.” When you combine cross country skiing and shooting, clothes eventually come off.

• It’s a Wonderful Life (NBC, 8pm):  Even though it might not feel like it right now, it really is a wonderful life.
• A Christmas Story Marathon (TBS, 8pm):  “Twelve consecutive screenings of the Christmas classic about a 9-year-old boy and his overwhelming yen for a BB gun.” I think this movie is responsible for my random Chinese food cravings on Christmas day.
• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (ABC, 8pm):  Would you like a little Turkish Delight with your holiday meal?
• Man v. Food (Travel, 10pm):  “Italian beef sandwiches and deep-dish pizza are on the menu when the hosts visit the Windy City of Chicago.” Turkey? Who needs turkey?

• Deal or No Deal (NBC, 8pm):  “In holiday-themed games, a family from California steps up to play as does a newly-married war hero from Oregon.” Nothing says Christmas like people gambling with money.
• Hallmark Heroes (Hallmark, 8pm):  “Regis Philbin hosts the second annual event, which honors four humanitarians with contributions to their causes.” This is much better than listening to Kelly Ripa talk about partying in the Hamptons.
• Bad Santa (Comedy Central, 8pm):  Spend your holiday remembering the greatness of Bernie Mac and John Ritter.

• Ghost Whisperer (CBS, 8pm):  Repeat. “A ghost who thinks he is Santa Claus keeps Melinda away from her family and friends during the holidays, as she’s busy trying to help him remember who he really is.” Why doesn’t she just tell him there’s no Easter Bunny as well?
• Gorgeous and Green: A Martha Stewart Wedding (Style, 8pm):  “Martha Stewart plans an environmentally-friendly wedding in Nashville for her assistant.” Does the assistant have the right to tell Martha what she doesn’t like?
• 200 Pound Tumor (Discovery Health, 10pm):  “Observing surgery in which a 200-lb. tumor is removed.” So let me see if I understand this correctly. It’s possible a tumor could be to blame for someone’s weight? Interesting…
• Dog Whisperer (National Geographic, 10pm):  “Rana, a sheltie, has eating problems.” Not even dog parks are even immune to body issues.

• The Sound of Music (ABC, 7pm):  Maybe Real Houswives’ Kim Zolciak should hook herself up with Julie Andrews. She can apparently teach anyone to sing.
• The Girls Next Door (E!, 10pm):  “Hef and the ladies visit Barbi Benton at her Aspen, CO home and they all go for a sleigh ride.” Knowing this could be their last Christmas together just brings a tear to my eye.
• Snoop Dogg’s Father Hood (E!, 10:30pm):  “Shante gets Snoop to take ballroom-dancing lessons, much to his dismay.” Sounds like someone has Dancing with the Stars in their future!