(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

• Two and a Half Men (CBS, 9pm):  “Charlie and Alan wake up together…with a woman they don’t recognize.” Strange, but significantly less awkward than two and a half men.
• CSI: Miami (CBS, 10pm):  “Ray Langston of the Las Vegas crime lab arrives in Miami to investigate after a severed leg found in the Everglades is discovered to belong to a girl who disappeared in Las Vegas a week earlier.” Horatio + Morpheus = sunglasses showdown.
• Little People, Big World (TLC, 10pm):  “Jake gets his own cell phone for his 12th birthday, and before long he racks up an outrageous bill, making Matt and Amy question whether he s ready for the responsibility.” The Learning Channel is not known for highlighting responsibility—in pre-teens or fathers of eight.

• V (ABC, 8pm):  “Chad seeks redemption by investigating the aliens ahead of his next newscast.” Unfortunately, a Wiki page hadn’t been established for the Visitors yet.
• The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8pm):  “The contestants participate in a circus-themed challenge in which the winner receives immunity at the weigh-in.” The one who best dances and lip-synchs like Britney Spears will win the challenge.
• Melrose Place (CW, 9pm):  “Police search Auggie’s apartment after learning his blood was on the weapon used to kill Sydney.” Producers looking to axe the character helped place the anonymous tip.

• Real World Presents: Return to Duty (MTV, 9pm):  “Cameras follow Real World: Brooklyn alum Ryan Conklin, who’s serving his second tour of duty in Iraq.” This may be the first job a Real World-er wasn’t fired from.
• Nip/Tuck (FX, 10pm):  “As Julia arrives from New York to help Matt recover from surgery, Sean makes a surprising discovery about Teddy.” He was lead to believe she was really Katee Sackhoff.
• Bank of Mom and Dad (SOAPnet, 10pm):  “Help is provided to a debt-ridden assistant kindergarten teacher who doesn’t have a place to live, but who does have couture clothes for her dog and a sports car.” She also has a nice mat she can take naps on.

• Parks and Recreation (NBC, 8:30pm):  “Andy and Ron share an uncomfortable moment while getting their shoes shined.” Up until then, they had never compared shoes - or shoe size - before.
• Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 9pm):  “Owen recruits a fellow Iraq-war vet (Kim Raver) as the new cardiothoracic surgeon, and Cristina questions the move for both personal and professional reasons.” Yang thinks Raver’s a much better fit for 24.
• Project Runway (Lifetime, 10pm):  “In Part 1 of the two-part Season 6 finale, the final three designers prepare their lines for their Bryant Park runway showing, with mentor Tim Gunn providing a look at their progress.” Too bad those collections are already sooo last February.

• National Treasure: Book of Secrets (Starz, 7:55pm):  “Nicolas Cage is off on another thrilling treasure hunt in this action-packed sequel involving a missing page from John Wilkes Booth s diary, which leads to a globe-trotting race to find an ancient city of gold.” Given Cage’s tax problems, he might want to book a couple more of these treasure hunts soon.
• Ugly Betty (ABC, 9pm):  “Marc points Justin in a new direction in his search for friends at school.” The “Gleeks for Glee” club brought out a bunch of closeted musical fans.
• The Mo’Nique Show (BET, 10pm):  “Cast members from the CW sitcom The Game reunite.” And this whole time I thought reunions were for shows that were missed.

• The Simpsons (FOX, 8pm):  “Marge poses for a Philanthro-Chicks calendar to raise money for charity, and the photographer eases her inhibitions with wine, resulting in some provocative photos that make her the talk of the town.” Her Playboy shoot, on the other hand, was all about raising money for herself.
• The Prisoner (AMC, 8pm):  Series premiere. “A reworking of the 1960s cult hit about an amnesiac (Jim Caviezel) held in a mysterious area called the Village, where fellow inhabitants are known only by numbers.” His stay is made a bit more pleasant when he meets a beautiful doctor named Thirteen.
• Family Guy (FOX, 9pm):  “Stewie clones himself.” Within minutes of creation, FOX gave the clone its own Friday night spinoff.