(You can view TV Envy’s Fall Television Programming Schedule here.)

• Inside the Actors Studio (Bravo, 8pm):  Season 15 premiere. “A conversation with Oscar-winning actress Goldie Hawn, who retraces her career journey and discusses her books, her tattoo and her mother’s death.” James Lipton will also retrace the moments when Hawn’s career started dying a slow death.
• Saturday Night Live Presidential Bash 2008 (NBC, 9pm):  “A ready-for-prime-time political skewering, featuring new material and a collection of politically-themed clips from the show’s archive.” This could be your last chance to laugh before you cry.
• First Class All the Way (Bravo, 9pm):  Series premiere. “Sara whips up a high-end getaway to Paris and Monaco for a clique of privileged women, but there’s a bump in the road when a passport goes missing.” I just hate to see a privileged woman miss out on a trip.
• The Hills (MTV, 10pm):  “Audrina moves out.” Haven’t we seen this episode already? Oh wait - we just saw it unfold in Us Weekly.

• 2008 Presidential Election (Various): Whatever happens - please let it end tonight. I don’t think I could handle another drawn out election.
• 90210 (CW, 8pm):  “Annie and Dixon have opposite reactions to Harry’s news about the son he put up for adoption years ago.” One thinks the storyline is like sooo lame, while the other thinks the show could use any help it could get.
• The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 10pm):  “It’s a no-no for NeNe when she disparages Kim’s career.” Wait until Kim finds out what NeNe has been saying to the cameras…
• The Shield (FX, 10pm):  “Corinne decides to cooperate with Dutch and Claudette, who’s now spearheading the LAPD effort to bring down Vic.” Arrggh. Why couldn’t FX have given the show a night off??

• America’s Next Top Model (CW, 8pm):  “One contestant screams at the judges during the critique.” Anyone who’s seen Tyra do her own screaming in front of the panel knows this model is toast.
• Dog the Bounty Hunter (A&E, 9:30pm):  “Dog learns that a fugitive works for an escort service and tries to trick her by making an appointment.” One must usually be tricked into escorting a man with a mullet.
• Law & Order (NBC, 10pm):  Season 19 premiere. “The fatal beating of a stockbroker spurs an epic clash between his family and the group responsible for his death.” If Dick Wolf started recycling plotlines from a decade ago, would anyone know?
• Real World/Road Rules Challenge (MTV, 10pm):  “A reunion of the 16th season’s cast.” This show’s been around almost as long as L&O and seen just as many casting changes.

• Survivor: Gabon (CBS, 8pm):  “The two tribes come together for a feast. They are offered a tempting decision and make a surprising sacrifice that many soon regret.” They realized a cooked Sugar wasn’t as tasty as it originally sounded.
• Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 9pm):  “The chief tells the residents that one of them will get a solo surgery, and a competitive frenzy ensues.” Imagine what would happen if he told them they were getting a lead in a movie.
• The Office (NBC, 9pm):  “The annual customer survey report delivers shocking results, particularly for Dwight and Jim.” It turns out viewers like the relationship between Jim and Dwight equally as much as they like the relationship between Jim and Pam.
• 30 Rock (NBC, 9:30pm):  “When Liz is assigned a seat next to Oprah Winfrey (playing herself) on an airplane, she hounds the sage talk-show host for personal advice.” Now if Oprah was really playing herself, she wouldn’t be flying commercial.

• Real Simple. Real Life. (TLC, 8pm):  “A full-time grad student gets ready for the working world.” First step: Max out credit card buying a whole new wardrobe.
• Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (FOX, 8pm):  “Rocker Gene Simmons competes.” Is Simmons really the best person to put on a family-oriented show?
• Don’t Forget the Lyrics (FOX, 9pm):  “The R&B quarter En Vogue reunite to sing for charity.” I’m confused. Didn’t they just reunite for my local casino last weekend?
• Crossroads (CMT, 9pm):  “Taylor Swift and Def Leppard perform together.” Somehow it doesn’t seem right to hear an 18-year-old sing “Pour Some Sugar on Me.”

• Woman with Giant Legs (TLC, 8pm):  “Profiling a woman with Proteus syndrome, an extremely rare condition that causes abnormal skin and limb growth.” This show should not be confused with “The Woman with Long Legs.”
• Desperate Housewives (ABC, 9pm):  “Lynette and Tom learn an unsettling truth about Porter.” The teen they’re feeding is actually 5 years older than their real son.
• Californication (Showtime, 10pm):  “Hank thinks he’s found a potential love interest in Becca’s English teacher.” Californication = Two and a Half Men + pay cable.
• The Girls Next Door (E!, 10pm):  “Hef hosts a party that is part of a search for Hefner’s the magazine’s 55th Playmate of the Year.”