(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

• Heroes (NBC, 8pm):  “Hiro has another chance to save Charlie (Glee‘s Jayma Mays) when he travels three years into the past, where he also encounters Samuel.” NBC has now resorted to reversing time to steal FOX’s thunder.
• Accidentally on Purpose (CBS, 8:30pm):  “Billie and Zack have their first big fight after Zack, hoping to surprise Billie, installs a low-flow toilet without consulting her first.” She didn’t appreciate having to flush twice after her #2’s.
• The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 9:30pm):  “Sheldon tries to teach Leonard the fundamentals of football.” Despite his wealth of knowledge, Sheldon still couldn’t explain the cheese-on-heads ritual.

• V (ABC, 8pm):  Series premiere. “Massive spaceships hover over Earth’s major cities to enable Anna (Morena Baccarin), the leader of an alien race known as the Visitors, to deliver a message of peace in the pilot that kicks off this reimagining of the 1980s sci-fi series.” To ensure global coverage, the message was simultaneously posted on YouTube, Twitter and Facebook.
• Chopped (FOOD, 10pm):  “The chefs are forced to break a fundamental rule of cooking by combining fish and cheese in their entrees.” If a fish-and-cheese combo is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
• Tabatha’s Salon Takeover (Bravo, 10pm):  Season premiere. “Season 2 commences with hairstylist Tabatha Coffey taking over and making over a Chicago salon that sorely lacks organization, passion and teamwork.” In other news, Coffey will now serve as a consultant during all Real Housewives reunion specials.

• Cougar Town (ABC, 9:30pm):  “After Jules (Courteney Cox) goes on a date with an older man just for something to do, Grayson bets her that she can’t spend an entire day alone.” Boredom. This explains Scream 4.
• Bank of Mom and Dad (SOAPnet, 10pm):  “A restaurant manager from Bayonne, NJ, learns that she can’t afford the big Italian wedding of her dream because she’s already in debt to her future-in-laws for thousands of dollars.” They eventually agreed to an offer she couldn’t refuse.
• Man v. Food (FOOD, 10pm):  “Adam Richman tries to tackle a 190-pound burger in Detroit.” Unfortunately, the towering burger had a surface area-advantage over him.

• Supernatural (CW, 9pm):  “Sam and Dean are thrown into an alternate universe where they become characters in various TV shows, including a medical series, a Japanese game show, a forensics procedural and a sitcom.” Their adventures will become the basis of CW’s new Sunday night lineup.
• Broke & Famous: Willie Aames (VH1, 10pm):  “A profile of actor Willie Aames, who went from fame and prosperity to poverty.” Sounds like someone needs Charles in charge of his wrongs and his rights.
• The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo, 10pm):  Season premiere. “Vicki works to strengthen her marriage.” She promises to cut her insults about Don in half.

• Supernanny (ABC, 8pm):  “Jo confronts an Alabama mother of three rowdy boys whose inflexible belief in corporal punishment is putting a strain on her marriage to her husband, who is willing to try other methods of discipline.” If she wasn’t wielding a belt, he’d be willing to share those ideas.
• Medium (NBC, 9pm):  “After her car is damaged, Allison rents an SUV, which contains a mysterious satellite radio that gives her the ability to receive other people’s real conversations.” And I thought the GPS lady was annoying.
• Law & Order (NBC, 9pm):  “A fatal drunken-driving accident may be more than what it seems when a suspicious nasal spray is found at the scene.” Sneezing and driving never mix.

• Keeping Up with the Kardashians (E!, 8pm):  Two-hour premiere. “The fourth season begins with Khloe marrying NBA star Lamar Odom.” I think this episode is longer than their actual courtship.
• The Girls Next Door (E!, 10pm):  “Karissa and Kristina prepare for roles as sexy twins in Sofia Coppola’s movie Somewhere.” The film is a follow-up to Sofia’s previous project, The Virgin Suicides.
• Mad Men (AMC, 10pm):  “Betty is the beneficiary of some interesting advice.” Thankfully for everyone, she didn’t listen to Ashton Kutcher.