(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

• Sherri (Lifetime, 7pm):  Series premiere. “In the opener, Sherri (Sherri Shepherd) turns to her coworkers for support after learning her ex’s 20-year-old girlfriend is pregnant.” She receives emotional support from both the ladies at her table and the viewers behind the camera.
• Rita Rocks (Lifetime, 7:30pm):  Season premiere. “Rita takes Hallie to the doctor to discuss birth-control options. But Rita is in for a shock when she discovers she’s pregnant.” There’s nothing like a pregnancy to deter someone from sex.
• CSI: Miami (CBS, 10pm):  “An investigation into the mysterious deaths of three volleyball players who dropped dead on the court.” The official autopsy reported listed “death by spike.”

• Hell’s Kitchen (FOX, 8pm):  “The final four chefs meet a diminutive version of Chef Ramsay, British child actor-impressionist Felix Light (aka Little Gordon Ramsay), then must feed 80 other youngsters—and do it without serving meat.” Macaroni and cheese and PB&J. Check.
• Scare Tactics (Syfy, 9pm):  “A female serial killer, who keeps men’s underwear as trophies, meets a handyman.” The weekend house call will cost her extra.
• 18 Kids and Counting (TLC, 9pm):  “Jim Bob and Michelle recall the Duggar family’s early years before renewing their vows in front of all 18 of their children.” Back then, life was harder with only two doing chores.

• Giuliana & Bill (Style, 9pm):  “Giuliana & Bill realize they are not legally married in the U.S.” I’m not sure their marriage is cared about recognized anywhere.
• CSI: NY (CBS, 10pm):  “Mac and the team hunt for an ingenious killer (Skeet Ulrich) after two bodies are discovered on opposite ends of the city.” It’s always nice to see Skeet and Matthew Lillard working as a team again.
• Secret Girlfriend (Comedy, 10:30pm):  Series premiere. “A comedy about single guys in their twenties in which the viewer at home is the main character. In the opener, two friends try to help you get over an ex while promoting their favorite strip club’s buffet and encouraging you to pursue another woman. Based on the Web series of the same name.” Warning: This show won’t help you find an actual girlfriend.

• Community (NBC, 8pm):  New time slot: “Señor Chang tries to weed out a cheater by threatening to flunk the whole Spanish class.” Unfortunately, the threat was lost in translation.
• FlashForward (ABC, 8pm):  “In Germany, Mark and Janis meet an imprisoned Nazi who claims knowledge about the mass blackout.” He claims it was caused by a group of Inglourious Basterds.
• Supernatural (CW, 9pm):  “Two teens claim they were kidnapped by Paris Hilton.” A good BFF is hard to find.

• Numb3rs (CBS, 10pm):  “The team members attempt to break up a high-stakes Russian-roulette tournament by finding the gambling ring’s mastermind.” They only have a 1-in-6 chance of finding him.
• Sanctuary (Syfy, 10pm):  Season premiere. “Part 1 of 2. The search for Ashley puts Magnus and her allies in the path of Kate Freelander (Agam Darshi), a con artist with ties to the Cabal who divulges the location of a secret facility.” Could it be located in Warehouse 13?
• Psych (USA, 10pm):  “Shawn and Gus help a man who claims he’s a werewolf and believes he’s dangerous to the public.” Someone could potentially be hurt by Taylor Lautner‘s rock hard abs.

• Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO, 9pm):  “Larry has an awkward encounter with Christian Slater at Ted and Mary’s anniversary party.” The actor had previously been declared Larry’s own worst enemy.
• Army Wives (Lifetime, 10pm):  “A grieving Jeremy deals with the aftermath of the incident at the Hump Bar.” Nights at the Hump Bar can only end in tears or bruises.
• The Girls Next Door (E!, 10:30pm):  Season premiere. “The sixth season begins with Hef’s new girlfriends Crystal Harris and twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon.” Hef’s now just eight small kids away from being Jon Gosselin.