(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

• How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8pm):  “Barney tries to persuade Robin to become a U.S. citizen.” He’s never had a sex with a freshly-minted citizen.
• Trauma (NBC, 9pm):  “Rabbit has a surprising reaction during a turbulent flight.” Rabbit realized the whole bouncing thing was overrated.
• Two and a Half Men (CBS, 9pm):  “When Alan and Charlie publicly humiliate Jake, he says he no longer wants to live with them.” At this point, he figures he can support himself off his royalty checks.

• 90210 (CW, 8pm):  “Debbie is upset over Harry and Kelly’s friendship.” The man’s name is Harry…how could Kelly not want him?
• Scare Tactics (Syfy, 9pm):  “A babysitter is targeted for a prank.” Parenting Tip #1: Never scare a good babysitter away.
• The Hills (MTV, 10pm):  “Heidi worries that her sister Holly has a drinking problem after she loses control at an event.” She’d never seen someone throw such a convincing tantrum without some substance help.

• The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS, 8pm):  “Christine starts a romance with a therapist (Eric McCormack) who shares office space with Matthew.” On their first date, the two bonded over their love of Must See TV.
• MythBusters (Discovery, 9pm):  “Kari, Grant and Tory study myths tied to hangovers served up by beer and liquor.” So if you drink liquor before beer, you’re not in the clear??
• Dinner: Impossible (Food, 10pm):  “Chef Irvine goes to Sesame Place in Langhorne, Pa., to cater a bash celebrating the 40th season of Sesame Street. His helpers for the day include the Cookie Monster, Elmo and Maria.” Despite his limited letter range, Cookie was able to help with the carrots, cauliflower, cabbage and cheese.

• Community (NBC, 8pm):  “Jeff has ulterior motives when he pushes Troy to join the school’s football team.” Good community college quarterbacks are hard to come by in fantasy football.
• FlashForward (ABC, 8pm):  “Olivia receives information about Mark’s flash-forward.” She usually avoids spoilers, but someone blabbed it on Twitter.
• Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 9pm):  “When a burn victim dies unexpectedly in the ER, the chief and Larry Jennings (Mitch Pileggi) look to find out which resident is responsible, and all of them have some explaining to do.” This investigation may also require the help of Mulder and Scully.

• Ghost Whisperer (CBS, 8pm):  “Melinda helps one of Eli’s patients (Chad Lowe), who thinks his sister’s ghost is haunting him.” Turns out he was actually still living under Hilary Swank’s shadow.
• Smallville (CW, 8pm:  “Oliver is kidnapped by a woman named Victoria (Steph Song), aka Roulette, who warns him his life is in danger.” She has a history of betting on black.
• Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 9pm):  “A bride doesn’t recognize the gown she bought when she shows up for her fitting.” She does vaguely recall getting the tramp stamp though.

• Desperate Housewives (ABC, 9pm):  “A motel maid castigates Bree for her affair with Karl.” Being looked down upon by a maid? And Bree thought drinking was her bottom.
• My Antonio (VH1, 10pm):  “In the first-season finale, Antonio chooses a winner, but not before one contestant demands a contract before she commits to a monogamous relationship.” Who said these girls didn’t have standards?
• Leave It to Lamas (E!, 10:30pm):  “A.J. searches for a job in an effort to impress his estranged dad.” If anything, that would just cause bitter jealousy.