(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

• Cake Boss (TLC, 9pm):  “Buddy deals with an indecisive client when creating a cake for the grand opening of a movie theater.” They ultimately agreed to serve melted butter on the side.
• Castle (ABC, 10pm):  “A vacationing family return home to find a supposed squatter dead in their daughter’s bed.” The cause of Goldilocks’ death? Poisoned porridge.
• Damages (FX, 10pm):  Season premiere. “A court has appointed Patty to recover assets lost in a Ponzi scheme orchestrated by Louis Tobin (Len Cariou) while Ellen is working for the DA’s office, which will prosecute him.” Ahh - there’s nothing like the smell of a fresh backstab in the morning.

• The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8pm):  “The trainers are dismayed by one team’s game-playing tactics.” Unfortunately, fake urine samples won’t help the contestants at the weigh-ins.
• Scrubs (ABC, 8pm):  “Turk battles insecurity when a renowned surgeon comes to town.” There aren’t many who can compete with Dr. Feelgood.
• Little Miss Perfect (We, 10pm):  “A 5-year-old who’s new to pageants works with a coach while her dad works two jobs to finance the pageant costs.” Years from now, Miss California Pageant officials will take over payments for her breast implants.

NOTE: President Obama’s State of the Union address may interrupt regularly scheduled programming.

• Nip/Tuck (FX, 10pm):  “Kimber’s mother (Melanie Griffith) visits, prompting Christian to suffer a crisis of conscience.” It’ll be a struggle for him not to sleep with a Working Girl.
• Clean House (Style, 10pm):  “Newlyweds need help decluttering their house.” Due to lack of space, guests at their wedding will get their gifts back.
• Taboo (Nat. Geog., 10pm):  “Profiling misfits who live outside their cultural norms, including a British man who lives on a diet of roadkill.” One man’s flattened animal is another man’s flat iron steak.

• Food Tech (History, 9pm):  “Chinese takeout is examined, including segments on egg rolls, fortune cookies, soy sauce, and Peking duck.” I hope they track down the person who first put peas and carrots in fried rice.
• Storytellers (VH1, 9pm):  “John Mayer performs an acoustic set and tells stories about his music.” Warning: Mayer can’t promise he won’t be stoned.
• The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo, 10pm):  “Lynne seeks advice from her mother about her daughters.” She already allows plastic surgery and underage drinking—is there anything else she can do to make them happy?

• Dollhouse (FOX, 8pm):  “Echo and crew try to return order to the world and prevent humanity’s extinction in the series finale, which is set in 2020 and continues the story of ‘Epitaph 1,’ when Rossum lost control of the imprinting technology, leading to global chaos.” The good news? At least we make it past 2012.
• Kitchen Nightmares (FOX, 9pm):  Season premiere. “In the opener, Chef Ramsay visits the Hot Potato Cafe in Philadelphia and is surprised to see the owners’ evaporated passion, replaced by negative attitudes.” Usually, restaurant owners are enthusiastic and open to critiques.
• Miss America: Behind the Curtain (TLC, 10pm):  “A behind-the-scenes peek at preparations for the 2010 Miss American pageant, hosted by Clinton Kelly.” Moments that involve sticking, stuffing or slathering will not be addressed in this special.

• 19 Kids and Counting: Special Duggar Delivery (TLC, 8pm):  “Baby No. 19, Josie Brooklyn Duggar, is welcomed into the family a little earlier than expected.” TLC is more than happy to promote the children, any time they arrive.
• The Simpsons (FOX, 8pm):  “Homer buys a lottery ticket that’s a million-dollar winner, but he has to miss his date with Marge to do it.” If she kicks him out of the house, he’ll have a nice new place to sleep in.
• Brothers & Sisters (ABC, 10pm):  “Kitty polls her family on her possible political maneuver of running for Robert’s senate seat; Robert and Nora head into the kitchen to help Scotty’s restaurant.” Gee - I can’t imagine why Rob Lowe would want to leave this show.