(Make sure to check out TV Envy's Programming Schedule.)

MONDAY (1/24)

• Chuck (NBC, 8 P.M.): "Sarah sets out on a perilous undercover mission by assisting Mary Bartowski (Linda Hamilton) in a bid to finally crush criminal mastermind Volkoff (Timothy Dalton)." They vow to beat the living daylights out of him.
• 90210 (CW, 8 P.M.): "Ivy doubts her ability to compete in a surf competition after a wicked wipeout." She completely overestimated her ability to get past the Big Balls.
• 19 Kids and Counting (TLC, 10:30 P.M.): Season premiere. "Michelle takes a pregnancy test." Fortunately, it didn't require her to study very hard.

TUESDAY (1/25)

NOTE: Due to the State of the Union Address, regularly scheduled programming may be interrupted.

• The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8 P.M.): "The contestants must face their favorite foods during a temptation challenge." Those Sour Patch Kids can be quite intimidating.
• One Tree Hill (CW, 8 P.M.): "Brooke's bachelorette party makes for a wild night, but she and her pals struggle to recall the details of it the next day." She originally thought she hooked up with Bradley Cooper, but it was actually Zach Galifianakis.
• Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern (Travel, 9 P.M.): "Strange eats in Pennsylvania are sampled. Included: a Japanese chef prepares potentially poisonous sexual organs." The FDA hasn't inspected the food for STDs.

WEDNESDAY (1/26)

• My Strange Addiction (TLC, 9 P.M.): "A man is in love with his life-size doll, treating it as his wife." She's the first woman who could tolerate all his hot air.
• Hot in Cleveland (TV Land, 10 P.M.): "Elka celebrates her freedom in her own inimitable way." Can you say "shots with David Letterman"?
• Clean House (Style, 10 P.M.): "A family with little interest in cleaning receive help." Lesson: Sit on your ass and you shall receive.

THURSDAY (1/27)

• The Office (NBC, 9 P.M.): "When Andy falls into a sales slump, he desperately hosts a small business seminar featuring special guests." Ricky Gervais will kick off the event by talking about Meredith's drinking problem.
• Unique Eats (FOOD, 9 P.M.): "Classic American foods are the focus, including heavy metal-inspired burgers." Not surprisingly, the "Ratt Burger" isn't a huge seller.
• Parks and Recreation (NBC, 9:30 P.M.): "Tom spends the day at the spa." Working around Rob Lowe means the men have to step up their games.

FRIDAY (1/28)

• Man Caves (DIY, 8:30 P.M.): "A football fan has a custom scoreboard and bar built in his rec room." He likes to keep track of sacks.
• Working Class (CMT, 8:30 P.M.): "Carli dates her dentist but has an ulterior motive." She wants a man who can (ful)fill her needs.
• Supernatural (CW, 9 P.M.): "Virgins mysteriously disappear, and Dean and Bobby learn that dragons are responsible for the kidnappings." Dragons like their meat fresh, too.

SUNDAY (1/30)

• Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC, 8 P.M.): "A family who lost a teenage daughter in a texting-while-driving accident has a new home built for them. Justin Bieber, Emma Roberts and NASCAR's Carl Edwards and Greg Biffle volunteer." Justin Bieber doing manual labor? Never say never, kids.
• The Lost Valentine (CBS, 9 P.M.): "A dogged TV reporter (Jennifer Love Hewitt) finds her own love life changed when she profiles a World War II widow (Betty White) who continues to honor the memory of her Navy pilot husband 65 years after he was declared missing in action." This is what you get when a Golden Girl and a Vajazzled Girl work together.
• The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 10 P.M.): Season finale. "Kandi approaches Kim about song-related finances." The ring didn't mean a thing -- neither did Kim's check.