The Herve (Her-vay) Report will take a look at the television industry and anything Kimberly Stewart tookis juicy in that all-consuming world of entertainment.  And just like its namesake, the underrated and undersized Herve Villechaize, the report will be short and sweet, tackling a couple of topics and hitting you harder than a headbutt from Mr. Villechaize to the, well, we’ll call them the “crazies.”

Your Calendars!

Regis Philbin, the constant professional, will be making his return to HIS show (get out of the way, pretty boy Consuelos), “Live With Regis and Kelly” on April 26th after having triple bypass surgery about a month ago.  The 75-year-old Philbin is most definitely a badass for wanting to come back to the daily grind and match wits with co-host, Kelly Ripa.  So, give your props to the O.G.

The Men of Miami Will Feel the Heat

Okay, read Wendy Michaels’ post on what I call, “Menudo’s Back (And I Don’t Mean ...Side).”  Want to know what I think?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  Can’t we just leave it alone?  Do we really need to find the next Menudo?  What boy band from back in the day will be revisited with a lame reality show?  Please don’t let it be “Newer Edition.”  Please!  Okay, wait, if Bobby Brown could host it and he’s really messed up, and by this I mean “high,” then okay I can go for it - only hilarity can ensue.

Wait, is Brown even NOT incarcerated to do this?

Aw, Shhhhhhh… It’s The Sopranos

Last night’s episode kicked butt!  Thank goodness the violence is back!!!  Okay, the ubiquitous SPOILER ALERT… seriously turn back before it’s too late.  The New York mob is just a straight up mess, especially now that Johnny Sack died of the cancer while doing his bid in the big house.  I loved the cameo of Sydney Pollack, but I was half-expecting him to critique Vince Curatola’s way of acting ala Pollack’s Cingular commercial you see in movie theatres.  Anyway, who DOESN’T think that Christopher is going to go for Tony’s seat of power?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?