American Idol host Ryan Seacrest recently sat down with CNN guru Larry King to talk about - what else - the final episodes of Idol’s seventh season, and everything that led up to them.

When asked about David Archuleta, Ryan Seacrest answered “David Archuleta is extremely comfortable and poised and powerful when he sings.” Ryan admitted, “He’s a little uncomfortable and fidgety when he’s not singing, but he’s a master with the songs.” Seacrest went on to say “David Cook is very different. He’s a rocker. He’s a nice guy. And he’s been through quite a bit.”

Both of the Davids, by the way, will appear on Larry King tonight. King even asked the question the media has been pondering for months: “Now, Archuleta’s father, Jeff, is he a stage dad?”

“Well, he’s there often,” Seacrest answered. “And let me say this about Jeff. He’s always been very kind to me.” But it can’t be all sweetness and light - Ryan continued. “But, there were stories - and I don’t have the official story. There were stories that they removed him backstage because he was coaching too much.”

King brought up the subject of Idol becoming perhaps too predictable. Could some changes freshen up the show? “I love the judges,” Ryan Seacrest cheered for the home team. “I don’t think we should replace the judges.” Or the host, right?

Larry King then mentioned some of the Idol casting rumors flying around - that a female co-host will be added, that Ryan Seacrest is losing his job, that Paula Abdul might also be replaced. King alluded that Simon Cowell even instigated some of these rumors. How did Seacrest react? “That’s shocking,” Ryan rambled for a moment, then laid down the gauntlet: “Simon, I would love to job swap for you with…one episode, one night…feel free to host the show.” The challenge thusly issued, Seacrest confided in King (and millions of viewers): “He’s so afraid of standing up, number one. He doesn’t like to stand. And number two, he can’t really speak for more then three sentences at a time. He gets nervous.”

Them sound like fightin’ words, Cowell.

“He couldn’t host the show?” Larry King wanted to make things clear.

“I’m positive he couldn’t host the show. And I’m positive he’d actually tell you that off the air.” Ryan Seacrest stood by his comments.

On his relationship with Simon Cowell, Seacrest said “We’re competitive.”

What about Paula Abdul’s Jason Castro flub? “I remember that night,” Ryan said. I should hope so. “I think she may have seen the rehearsal and been confused about what she saw at the rehearsal.” What’s confusing about rehearsal, Seacrest, really? Are American Idol rehearsals so terribly taxing and hectic that it’s possible to remain flabbergasted even days afterward?

As to the recent rumors that Seacrest will be joining the staff of CNN (a completely ludicrous story I didn’t cover because it’s quite obviously blatant fabrication), King said “There’s nothing to that.” Ryan Seacrest confirmed this truth as well.

All I can say is that I would love - bloody love! - to see Simon Cowell host the show, judge the competitors and in fact do the whole damned thing himself. And I’ve personally seen him stand up quite a bit, but why get up when you can sit down?