So evidently I’m really bad at predicting the outcomes of reality shows (which, I know, already happened).  I mean, really exceptionally bad.  Now, I could have just buried my predictions from two weeks ago, but a man has to face his failures, so here we go.  (Oh, and blahblahblahSPOILERALERTblahblahblah.)

THE AMAZING RACE:
Just a few weeks in, and one of my finalists is already gone.  Not only was I wrong about Lorena & Jason being one of the three final teams, I was also wrong about them not annoying me yet.  Lorena’s camel-milking meltdown (and how often did you read that phrase?) was incredibly entertaining and also horribly, cripplingly annoying.  Still, Azaria & Hendekea are running strong and maybe I’ll be right about who ultimately gets to hang out with Phil at the finish line.  But most likely not.

AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL:
My pick, Heather, was in the Bottom Two last week.  She’s still in it, but her not-great public speaking skills mean she may not be long for this competition.

AMERICA’S MOST SMARTEST MODEL:
And down goes Pickel.  How could you get rid of Pickel?  This show doesn’t seem to be trying to find the smartest among the group, and it’s ideas about modeling are kind of bizarre too. (Why, exactly, do people have to go through an obstacle course in order to model?).  Mary Alice is always angry for no reason and…HOW COULD YOU GET RID OF PICKEL??

Way off on that one.

THE BACHELOR:
You know how bad of a prognosticator I am?  I had a fifty/fifty shot on this show, and I would have gotten either guess wrong.  I literally flipped a coin and couldn’t have won no matter what.  That’s crazy bad luck.

DANCING WITH THE STARS:
Well, I was wrong in just straight-up knowledge of the way this show works.  Evidently there are three finalists and not two.  But!  This may have turned out to be my greatest triumph.  As I write this (Monday night), Mel B and Helio are both in the finals, and Mel B just might win.  So, with my luck, let me just say, congratulations Marie Osmond!

I LOVE NEW YORK 2:
Inexplicably, I became very stupid and believed what VH1’s previews were telling me.  Chance isn’t back for good, so there’s no way he’s finishing in second place.  My pick, Buddha, is still in it, so that’s something.

This show is weirder than usual this season (I know it’s only the second season, but I count this show, Flavor of Love, and Rock of Love, as all part of the same series).  It used to be a show where a bunch of guys bent over backwards to romance New York, but now, it feels like a show where New York is trying to get a lot of guys to like her and do what she says, but all of them have little time for her.  I’m not complaining; it’s just strange.

THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND:
Looking it up ... yep, Franklin Bridge is gone.  Typical.

PROJECT RUNWAY:
Two weeks in, and my three picks are still in it!  Sweet!!

SURVIVOR:
Here was the saddest of them all.  I pick Frosti and two days later, Frosti is booted.  Sorry, Frosti, I liked you in spite of your nickname and hoped you would win.

So there’s the tale of my horrible predicting skills.  I was so good last year.  I picked…Earl on Survivor, I think.  And…I can’t think of anybody else.  Maybe I am really bad at picking after all.  Oh, well.