Paris Hilton said she doesn’t “want people thinking of me as this blonde heiress…airhead,” but almost in the same breath admits, “but that is kind of my brand.”

This all takes place in the new MTV documentary Paris, Not France. that gives viewers a behind-the-scenes (and behind the reality TV shows) look at Paris’ life. It of course sort of defrauds the whole idea of reality TV, but there’s no reason to keep pretending there’s anything real about it anyway.

“I want to have a family. I want to be normal. I want to be happy,” Paris says to the cameras. “I always looked up to Princess Diana and all these women, and now I could never be like that,” she laments, talking about the sex tape scandal that helped put the icing on her superstardom.

The MTV special will air Tuesday night, when Hilton will open up about who she is in private, the aftermath of some of her worse decisions and what it’s like to be a celebrity heiress.