If you were to combine Patrick Swayze’s “She’s Like the Wind” with Katie Holmes’ So You think You Can Dance performance and any musical number from William Shatner, you might get this.

On last night’s broadcast of America’s Got Talent, the audience was forced to endure a performance from “a real American icon.” (Those were Nick Cannon’s words, not mine.)

“He acts, he sings, he dances and he also talks a lot on this show. With a Hofftastic performance of ‘Feelin’ Good,’ give it up for David Hasselhoff!”

Note to Heidi Montag: If you’re going to suck, at least do it live.

(Make sure to check out our other Awkward TV moments.)