Last Thursday night, I was fortunate enough to stumble upon my latest reality obsession.  Surprisingly, it lacked a competition element and it, thankfully, didn’t compete with American Idol.  (Though it does have a connection to it).  My current must see fave?  Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew.

Given my predilection for Train Wreck television, the series immediately had one thing going for it.  But I like to think my voyeuristic eye is drawn toward things with a bit more substance, and this show filled that role quite nicely.  Rehab combines the grittiness of A&E’s fabulous Intervention, the B-list comedy of VH1’s Surreal Life, the hopefulness of NBC’s The Biggest Loser and the frank, yet informative, talk usually seen from Oprah’s Dr. Oz.  The nice whole package was then topped off with the appealing and non-judgmental presence of Dr. Drew Pinsky.

This series pulls no punches, does not set out to glamorize and - as a bonus - is extremely educational.  In just one episode, I’ve already learned that binge-drinking is harder to treat that all-out alcoholism.  (Your body will use the fact that you have periods of of time that you don’t drink as a reason to justify using.  People wind up believing they can control it.)  Who knew?

But if simple celebrity suffering is what it will take for you to start watching, there are several choice reasons for you to tune in:  Daniel Baldwin, Chyna (Joan Marie Laurer), Mary Carey, Jeff Conaway, Brigitte Nielson, Jessica Sierra.  And if that wasn’t enough, here were last week’s

:

1. Seth “Shifty” Binzer (from the band Crazytown) shocked the resident tech when he unapologetically admitted he had brought beers with him.  (Apparently he wanted to have them for ol’ times sake.)  Considering his main vice is cocaine, I guess I could understand why he thought that wasn’t a problem.
2. Mary Carey - porn star and former CA gubernatorial candidate - brought an array of ‘toys’ with her to the facility.  (Keep in mind, she’s trying to quit porn.)  Her roommate, Chyna, jokingly (??) thanked the resident tech for promptly taking Carey’s strap-on away.
3. Jeff Conaway - who was completely hunched over in his wheelchair from the get-go - needed subtitles for the viewers at home to follow along.  (Even the words “I’m loaded” were hard to decipher.)  At one point, Chynna told Conaway she was going to need a recap of his mumbling because she didn’t understand a lick of it.
4. After being told that she couldn’t enter Shifty’s room (because sex addicts should never be tempted), Mary chose to take off her underwear in the open doorway.  (I think this might be called pulling a “Britney”.)
5. Trying to be funny (I think), Jeff asked the resident tech: “If I have to go poopy, will you wipe me?”

(There were many more of these classic moments, but I thought I would just whet your appetite with only five.) 

Get yourself addicted to Rehab every Thursday @ 10pm on VH1.