American Idol‘s Wednesday ladies night started out with the usual nonsensical judge-host banter. Ryan Seacrest asked if Randy Jackson is “too nice” this season, then turned his attention to Paula Abdul. “The 80s was a big year for you,” he said. Guess again, Seacrest. The 80s actually encompassed an entire decade - and if you ask me, it was Madonna (not Abdul) who will for ever be the queen of those ten years. Yet, no one sang Madonna. I’m disappointed, ladies.

Asia’h Epperson kicked off the night with a little Whitney Houston (who arguably ruled the 80s as much as any recording artist), boldly belting “I Wanna Dance With Somebody.” After her upbeat, big performance I’m sure she won’t have any trouble finding a partner. Randy Jackson called the song a “tall order,” but told her “Guess what? You showed and proved tonight you deserve to be here.” I never had a doubt. Paula told her “you nailed it,” but Simon Cowell wasn’t as into it as the others. “At best, it was 2nd-rate Whitney Houston.” Asia’h said that’s okay, and I agree. There is, after all, only one Whitney.

Kady Malloy found a completely unrecognizable Queen song, “Who Wants to Live For Ever,” making the song way too boring and slow-paced. I did, however, like her Farrah-esque hairdo. Malloy shouted her way through the bigger part of the song, trying to reach way above her own vocal level. Randy called it a “very interesting song choice” but said it was “pretty good.” Paula Abdul advised Kady to stick to her “natural voice,” and Simon grudgingly admitted the performance was “better than last week.” He did accuse Kady of having a “massive lack of personality” while on stage, saying it was “like the Stepford Wives.” He called her singing “somber” as well.

Amanda Overmyer, who so far hasn’t strung together two successful performances in a row, came on stage looking great and blazing vocally. I was blown away by her rollicking version of “I Hate Myself For Loving You,” which even included some pretty okay dance moves (way to go, girl). Randy loved it, saying “that’s who you really, really are.” Paula nonsensically told her “your face is beautiful, I like your hair,” then admitted she’s in love with Amanda. Pitch woo after the show’s over, Abdul. Simon Cowell “thought it was fantastic,” thought Amanda “absolutely nailed the song” and told her, “in a way, one of my favorite girl performances of the entire competition.” Wow!

Carly Smithson appeared next to sing “I Drove All Night” in a totally bizarre outfit. I didn’t recognize the song and couldn’t seem to stay interested despite Carly’s huge vocals. Yet again, there just seemed to be a little something missing from her performance, but there’s definitely nothing wrong with her pipes. Randy said she “keeps smashing it,” and called it “another great performance.” Paula rambled for a few minutes, offering nothing at all like a usable quote. Simon told her “once again, I don’t think you chose the right song,” and I agree. Something we’ve heard before would be good.

Kristy Lee Cook came out in another weird outfit to put a country spin on Journey. Yes, that’s really the way it went down. Singing “Faithfully,” Kristy was obviously following the advice she received just last week to make her singing more countrified. I just couldn’t get into it, but the judges did. Randy (naturally) called it a “great song” (a completely debatable point) and liked her “country lilt.” “I actually liked it!” He cried. Paula told her the song “could be a hit for you,” but I totally disagree. I’d change the channel on the radio every time. Simon said it was good to hear the country influence (he told her to do it), and told her “you’re forgettable.” “At best, I can see you coming 10th.” That might be a little ambitious.

Ramiele Malubay lent her gorgeous voice to “Against All Odds,” offering a really huge performance. Randy asked her “what’s the deal?” and said she picked a “big song, big vocals.” He finished by telling her to “find that confidence,” but assured her “you’ve got mad vocals.” Paula told Ramiele “you have such a beautiful face,” which is so totally irrelevant the only reason I’m repeating is because Paula said little else that even made sense (going into a huge spiel about mutts in the audience - whatever that means). Simon told her “because you’re so little and cute, it was good” but also said it was “predictable” and “old-fashioned.”

Brook White appeared next singing Pat Benatar’s “Love is a Battlefield.” I used to adore that song. When I saw ballad-only Brooke sitting on stage, I knew I was about to be in for a bad time. She actually made this female empowerment tune completely sad and boring, mis-managing the message of the song until I wanted to throw things at my TV. But the judges love Brooke. Randy “really liked it” and thought it was “very interesting.” Paula called it “pure” and said singing the song was a “very wise choice.” Simon told her, “two weeks running, you’ve done a great performance.” Here’s an idea - drink some coffee and get some energy about you. No one can sing ballads for ever.

Syesha Mercado was placed last and as such, barely got any judge comments. Beautifully belting out Whitney Houston’s “Saving All My Love For You,” there wasn’t much to say about this stellar performance. Randy said it was “good, good,” Paula called her “sophisticated, lovely,” and Simon said it was a “bit predictable, but good.” Good enough for the Top 12? Yes!