Neil Diamond week on American Idol kicked off with Ryan Seacrest announcing all were “still reeling after last week’s drama.” A quick flash of the judges showed Paula Abdul looking lovely, just before the Top 5 Idols were introduced.

Neil Diamond’s new album “Home Before Dark” will soon be released, hence his presence on the show. On the Top 5, Diamond said “They’re all good and they all bring something to music.” But what did they bring Tuesday night?

Jason Castro began the night with “Forever in Blue Jeans” a nicely upbeat jam he performed with guitar in hand. I thought he seemed much more in his element this week than last.

David Cook followed with “I’m Alive.” “He’ll do great, no doubt about it,” Diamond told cameras before Cook performed. David put on his usual electrical guitar rock show while wearing a weird and crazy blazer. It was very energetic, but it was all the same stuff I’ve seen before. After last week’s vocal surprise, I was disappointed.

Next up: Brooke White. She played guitar while attempting to sing “I’m a Believer.” While I loved the outfit, her song started out pretty rough and didn’t get a whole lot better. Her vocals were terribly off through most of it, though she did start to come together and put on more flair toward the end.

David Archuleta took on “Sweet Caroline.” Diamond called him “Kind of a prodigy,” and I agree. David looked great, changed the arrangement a bit to suit his own style and sounded amazing. The ladies in the crowd seemed to love his big vocals and big finish - and so did I.

Syesha Mercado, with flowing locks and a cute little purple number, softly crooned “Hello Again.” “She’ll go great,” Diamond predicted, and he was right. Syesha offered up an extremely diva performance, another vocal stunner. It’s hard for me to get past the bare feet, though. This is a serious problem.

All the Idols were then brought out on stage and Ryan Seacrest threw the attention to the judges so they could offer a critique. At the top of the program, Seacrest announced that the judges wouldn’t share their opinions until after the singers completed both their night’s performances, but something got changed somewhere in the middle.

Randy Jackson went first, very concisely going down the list of contestants. Jason Castro he dubbed “just okay,” though better than last week; David Cook was “very good,” “very strong;” Brooke was “karaoke;” David Archuleta he called “the bomb;” and Syesha he felt was “in the zone” and “strong,” just not amazing.

Next was Paula Abdul…and today, it’s her performance that’s drawing the most attention. I always knew a day like this was coming. It will be terribly hard for the Paula supporters to come up with a reasonable explanation for this…and even if they do, I’m not likely to believe it. (A full video of Paula’s mistake follows the description…it is so worth watching).

Abdul looked to Jason first. She began by telling him she loved his lower register on the first song. Then…as the Idols and Ryan Seacrest looked on with a mixture of amazement and confusion, Paula Abdul began to critique Castro’s second song.

He had not yet sung his second selection, however. Paula was actually allowed to continue her entire critique of the song, at which point she was then interrupted by Randy Jackson (who gently prompted her that they were still on the first songs of the night). Paula cried out in confusion, tried to recover, and then changed her story. First, (after crying “I thought you sang twice!”) she said she must have confused Cook’s notes with Castro’s. But then she called Cook “amazing,” which was not the critique she’d been giving Jason at all. Check out the video for yourself.

Okay…so what does it mean? Some bloggers today are crying conspiracy theory. I think there are a few possibilities to explain this, and probably several more even I can’t think of. Here’s what I’ve got:

a) She is, like I always say, completely dotty, confused, and most likely on something. I’m not at all surprised by her and frankly I thought it was all terribly amusing. I think she might have honestly imagined seeing Jason twice and just went with those feelings.

b) She is, like some writers are suggesting, being told what to say by someone else. She had notes in front of her, all right, but some assistant of hers put them together to keep her from sounding like an ass on TV. PS, it’s not working.

c) She is, another suggestion that’s being bandied about, using Idol rehearsals (not stage performances) to determine her critiques. I think this is giving her far too much credit and foresight. I saw this woman’s reality show, and anyone who goes to a business meeting and winds up rolling around on the floor doesn’t have the sort of gumption to plan such a thing out. In my opinion.

d) She has no idea what she’s saying. Ever.

(I vote d).

Simon Cowell then had his turn to judge. Jason Castro he called “forgettable,” David Cook he found “just above average,” Brooke White was a “nightmare” (at which point Paula cried out “no, no, no”), David Archuleta was “amateurish,” and Syesha “old fashioned.” Just like that, he lined ‘em up and shot ‘em down - right between the eyes. I love Simon Cowell. “I wanna see and hear the performance of a lifetime coming up,” he threatened, just before the break.

Jason Castro sat for his performance of “September Moon,” a song with a much slower pace than his first selection. He played no guitar for this heartfelt vocal. Randy announced “I don’t know what’s happening,” (hey, neither does Paula!), and called it a “just okay, whatever performance.” Paula called his performance “safe,” abandoning her earlier second-song judgment. Simon told him “we don’t recognize you,” and found no originality in the arrangement. In the aftermath of today, many are blaming Paula for throwing Castro out of his groove. I say you have to suck it up and perform no matter what.

David Cook chose “All I Really Need is You,” slipping back into his Creed-like mien for this ditty. Two performances, nothing new or exciting from Cook. For me, it fell flat. At one point during this second song, he slipped into a falsetto for one moment. It was a horrible mistake. Randy cried that he is a “huge David Cook fan,” and found it all “blazing.” Paula felt “so proud” and said “I feel like I’m already looking at the American Idol.”Sure, but she’s also looking at performances before they even happen. Simon called Cook’s first song “okay,” but found the second “brilliant,” saying he made the tune “current.”

Brooke White, with a lyric written on her palm, played piano to sing “I Am I Said.” She was more connected to the song this second time around, but I still found her vocals weak. Randy told her “nice job, baby,” while Paula just talked for a while. “This is the Brooke we like,” Simon Cowell announced, though he admitted the performance “wasn’t incredible.”

David Archuleta belted out “America,” turning it into much more of a message song than I ever thought it was. He did show off dynamic vocals as usual, but I can’t stand being preached to by this kid. Randy called it “another good performance,” while Paula gushed “I love you.” “That was a smart choice of song,” Simon smiled, declaring it “ticked all the boxes.” Meaning Archuleta was spot-on.

Syesha performed “Thank the Lord for the Night Time” with attitude and energy in full measure. She danced around on stage, putting amazing power behind the upbeat tune. “This is the way I like you,” Randy Jackson told her. Paula Abdul talked at length. “This is officially the strangest show we’ve ever done,” Simon was bemused. He called Syesha a “very good actress,” but admitted she might be in trouble for tonight’s results. When asked why, he admitted “because there’s only five left,” and called her song “not memorable enough.”