As elimination night began on American Idol, host Ryan Seacrest reminded us that “anything can happen on this show.” After a season-high vote tally of a whopping 36 million, what did happen was probably a long time coming - and hardly shocking for most viewers.

Seacrest quickly introduced the judges (Paula Abdul looked spectacular for a change - loved the upswept ‘do) before the Idols took the stage, singing “One Sweet Day.” Idol then reminded all that there’s only one week left to vote in the songwriting competition. Remember, the winning song will be crooned at the finale by the winning contestant. But soon enough, it was time to get down to the real reason for watching: elimination.

Jason Castro was called out first and then bid to go stand alone at left stage. David Cook then emerged from the depths of backstage and was instructed to stand off to the right. This placement created two distinct groups, though at this point I thought it was far too early to tell which was which. I made my mind up quickly when Carly joined Jason Castro at left stage. Surely this, then, was the unsafe group. My mind quickly changed when Kristy Lee Cook joined David at stage right. Ah, but of course. This, then, was the not-so-safe group of possible bottom three-ers. A surprising turn of events considering the popularity of David Cook, but I felt seeing Kristy at his side was a certain harbinger of doom for the gravelly-voiced rocker.

Another odd and poorly-done Ford video followed this strange stage direction action. This week’s theme was Idols as puppets, the group crying “I Want to Break Free.” I remember laughing at last year’s videos and always rather enjoyed seeing them. Now, like other Idol cross-promotions, they’ve become stale and completely without spark or originality. Something’s gotta give, or Ford won’t be sponsoring the uber-popular show next season.

Idol alum Elliott Yamin then graced the stage to sing the soulful “Free,” a little ditty I’d never heard before. I liked the song, finding it nice and upbeat, but was sad to see that Yamin neither looked nor sounded great. Later in the broadcast, when it became apparent Yamin is suffering a personal tragedy, I understood. He graciously thanked his fans for their support and condolences, and exchanged a big hug with Ryan Seacrest before making his exit.

Syesha Mercado, who’s appeared in the bottom three several times now, joined Jason and Carly’s group. As my mind worked overtime trying to make sense of these results, Brooke White was told to join the group with the two Cooks (David and Kristy Lee). I quickly changed my opinion again - now it appeared the Castro/Smithson group was indeed in danger, as I’d previously feared. But before the viewers could ponder overlong on these arrangements of three, the call-in segment was featured.

This mind-numbingly boring segment has defiled almost every elimination show this season, and I cannot understand why they would junk the broadcast up with this. From the pedantic, uninspired questions to the sheer boredom of all concerned, the whole segment is just a time-wasting trap that - mark my words - will hurt Idol in the end. Kristy was questioned first: “Were you able to buy your horse back?” The caller wanted to know. “No, actually, the guy who bought the horse does not want to sell him back to me,” Cook answered. Hell no he doesn’t. He’s probably charging rides on the thing for twenty dollars a pop - have your picture taken on top of it for an extra five. “He does have a good home,” Kristy Lee assured her attentive audience. Ryan Seacrest then helped make a pitch for Kristy Lee to get her horse back. Fat chance.

Another caller asked the three judges about the first records they ever bought. “Led Zepplin, Beatles, James Brown,” Randy Jackson replied. “The Jackson Five’s ‘I Want You Back,’ Earth Wind and Fire, Carole King’s ‘Tapestry’,” were Paula’s picks. And Simon Cowell told all that when he was ten years old, he bought Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up.” Ha! Again, Cowell is the only saving grace of the entire call-in segment.

The next question was posed to Paula, some complete inanity about which song of hers best describes her relationship with Simon. As Randy screamed “Coldhearted Snake,” Paula answered, “’Opposites Attract,’ definitely.” Anyone remember that video? Paula Abdul in an oversized suit, animated alley cat rubbing up against her? I wish they would show clips of it on every episode of Idol. Here’s a thought - let’s watch that instead of the call-in segment. It would be infinitely more hysterical and, unlike the call-in segment, that’s a clip which would never get old.

Simon was then asked to describe the difference between a “theme park,” “piano bar” and “karaoke” performance. All descriptions, of course, refer to the fine and subtle nuances which help create a sub-par performance - but the segment hardly lends itself to such long explanations. “In a nutshell, all of the ones you’ve described are horrible. So, these are not the ones we want to hear on this show,” Cowell offered.

The last question was posed to David Cook - one breathless female wanting to know if he’s single. Checking to be sure he looked into the right monitor, Cook declared “yes, yes.”

Then it was Mariah Carey’s turn to command the spotlight, which she did with “Bye, Bye.” I thought the song was beautiful and thought Carey looked beautiful. Before taking her leave, she advised the contestants to just “do you” when singing.

Only one contestant remained backstage, seventh Idol David Archuleta. Of course this one had to be saved for last before joining a group; otherwise, the whole thing would be instantly given away. Archuleta was told he was safe right away, something which was already a foregone conclusion. In a surprising twist, David Cook and Syesha Mercado were told to swap places. This left everything crystal clear at last, and I felt the game was given away. Now the groupings were Brooke White, Kristy Lee Cook and Syesha Mercado against David Cook, Jason Castro and Brooke White. When asked to choose a safe side, David Archuleta chose a classic Idol move instead and sat down dead center on the stage. When Cook, et. al joined him, all was at last revealed.

Each looking more nervous than the other, Brooke, Kristy and Syesha stood together as the bottom three. Interestingly, this group of gals is also a set of roommates. In another surprise twist, it was Syesha who was sent quickly to safety. As I cried “yes!” Seacrest turned to gauge the judges’ reactions. Randy called the whole thing “tough, man,” and admitted “I can’t call this one, dude.” I could. Paula of course adopted her diplomatic role and sweetly told one and all that “every one of you are very, very special.” But all of you, save one, will ultimately lose. Simon Cowell didn’t have time to be comforting. “Maybe Kristy, you know your time’s up this time, sweetheart,” he told her. Kristy was quick to point out that Cowell was wrong about her in the past.

Not this time. Brooke White remains in the competition, and today Kristy Lee is conducting her interviews. After saying “thank you, America,” to one and all, Kristy sang her song. She started crooning to Simon at the judges’ table, then walked center stage to bring the performance home. She sang the tune about the same way she sang it Tuesday -unimpressively- and was joined in a show of support by her fellow Idols just as she wound it down. All in all, a rather anticlimaxal elimination after the upheaval created by popular Michael Johns. For the country girl who seemed an underdog through most of the contest, seventh place isn’t bad at all. America is likely to see Kristy Lee Cook again - at the very least, in some commercial touting a product for horses.