Tuesday saw the evening where, according to host Ryan Seacrest, “the number one show in the country celebrates the number one band of all time.” I see nothing in this statement to debate, but the second week of Beatles on American Idol did offer some disappointments.

Amanda Overmyer began the night with “Back in the USSR,” a song from the White Album. She looked great and gave a really fun performance, but I found the song choice more than a little odd. Randy called her work a “little pitchy,” but said it was “really cool at the end” and rated her a “seven out of ten.” Paula called the singing “sketchy at first,” but told Amanda “when you connect, you’re quintessential, unique,” then she launched into a litany of inanity I don’t have the time or inclination to repeat. Simon said “it was what it was: it was predictable,” calling the performance a “bit of a mess,” telling her she’s doing too much of the same stuff week after week. “Otherwise,” he cautioned, “you are in danger of becoming a little boring.” Amanda bit back that “ballads are boring” and said she wants people to know what an Overmyer concert would be like. Simon reminded her “your tickets aren’t on sale yet.”

Kristy Lee Cook appeared on stage next, wearing an awful sparkly black gown and hideous cowgirl boots on her feet. The country lilt was gone from her voice this time as she sang “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away,” one of my favorite Beatles songs. She changed the arrangement, she killed it, she didn’t even know the song before she had to perform it on American Idol - reason enough for all of us to hate her. She sang the tune completely without the pop that Lennon put into it, screwed around with the tempo of the song, and gave it a big finish that didn’t sell the performance in any way. Randy Jackson told her the tune is “one of my favorite Beatles songs,” told her she gave it an “interesting arrangement,” and said “it felt a little boring and a little safe.” A little? Paula thought “this is the best you’ve ever looked,” and said of the performance “it was good.” Simon told her, “I think you need something like hypnosis.” Qualifying, he explained, “the problem is, you’re not a good performer.” That’s hitting the nail on the head. “It’s like musical wallpaper,” he finished, though he did concede that “you were better this week.” It would be hard for her to match the audio horror of her countrified version of “Eight Days a Week.”

Amid screaming, David Archuleta arrived to sing the soft, soulful “The Long and Winding Road.” I thought it was a weird choice of song…until I heard him belt it out. He was strong in the ballad, his performance heartfelt. Randy Jackson cried that “David A’s brought the hotness back to his game,” though he said that Archuleta “played it a little safe.” Paula called it a “most exciting and wonderful performance.” Simon, as always, gave it to him straight. “Last week was a complete mess. This week, I thought you were amazing.” And so did I. “That was master class,” Cowell decreed, and all the women screamed with joy. There’s nothing much to say about David Archuleta - when he’s bad, it’s still okay. When he’s good, it’s great. Either way, it won’t be he who is sent home this evening.

All last week during Beatles night, I muttered swear words and repeatedly wondered why, of all Lennon-McCartney songs ever written, no one chose “A Day in the Life.” Last night, Michael Johns did. I was pleased from the start, and from the beginning note I loved everything about his performance. Somehow without completely butchering the song, he managed to give us all an auditory glimpse of why that melody is so great. I loved what he did, marveled at his vocals, and lauded his arrangement to those I watched the show with. And then, the judges completely ripped into him. Randy told him “it wasn’t your best performance,” and reminded him, “you, of anybody up here, can sing.” Indeed. Paula Abdul babbled and rambled; I couldn’t get a usable quote. Simon didn’t mince words. “The long and short of it was, it was a mess.” He said the song itself is “very complicated,” and reminded him that “you have got to nail the song.” Here I was thinking he did.

Brooke White, in a canary yellow dress so awful I can hardly speak of it, smiled and scatted her way through “Here Comes the Sun” amid lemonade- and gold-toned lighting. She began, of course, sitting down, then stood weirdly in front of the microphone to jiggle around. I actually found this a better performance than usual from boring, ballad-only Brooke, but it was all a bit weird. Randy told her “that performance was really awkward for me,” and decided “you were never really connected to that song.” “It was not hot,” was his final decree. Paula told her “I love the yellow,” in her usual insipid fashion, and added that loved Brooke’s low tone but thought it was a safe performance. Simon Cowell “thought the performance was terrible, from the horrible dancing to the absolute lack of conviction.” …How’d you like the dress?

David Cook sang the -get this- Whitesnake version of “Day Tripper.” David, I remember some of the 80s too, and if you’re going to take away anything from the decade, let it not be Whitesnake. With electric guitar in hand he did Axl Rose proud in rock n roll style, even going so far as to do a talkbox solo right in the midst of all that badass posturing. I will say this, though, for me it was one of his better performances - and I thought for him the song choice was terrific. Randy called it “another solid look for David Cook.” Paula proclaimed “you’re ready to go sell records.” David’s smile widened and head grew bigger, until Simon in acerbic tones let him know that “I don’t think that was as good as you thought it was.” I don’t, either. Cowell went on to say the performance was “a bit predictable and I didn’t like that version.” You know, me either. Whitesnake, pshaw.

Carly Smithson chose to deliver “Blackbird,” which I thought was completely bizarre before she started to sing. Then, with gorgeous vocals, she somehow made me believe this oddly worded tune. She made the song really big in places, and I thought the whole thing was very well done. Randy told her it was “another good performance,” calling it “very nice.” At the end, he announced it was “cooliosis.” Paula told Carly she has “amazing tone.” Simon didn’t like the song choice, saying, “I don’t think that was a smart thing to do,” even calling it “indulgent.” Carly then went into some melodramatic explanation into her methodology for picking the song and I felt the entire show needed to be picked back up from the depressing place to which it had just been dragged.

Luckily, Jason Castro came out on stage in a pair of tight jeans. He strangely decided to sing “Michelle,” but even this didn’t matter as his female fans fairly swooned in front of the stage. With amazing believability and in perfect French, he somehow managed to sell it. Randy said it was a “good choice,” I disagree. Of the performance, Jackson thought it was a “little interesting,” but “very subdued” and “just all right.” Paula told him “you have a very distinct charm,” but said it seemed “a little uncomfortable.” Simon announced that “this is a very weird show,” telling Castro “your face sold that.” He even gave him a compliment, saying “you’re very charming - you’re not obnoxious.” Like David Cook, you mean?

Syesha Mercado, looking absolutely stunning in a much softer, more elegant look than usual, chose to sing “Yesterday.” Finally, someone did. With lovely, soft singing that was very true to the song, Syesha sold the tune in a truly amazing performance. She took it big in just the right places and sang with pure feeling, completely wowing me. Randy told her “in my estimation, very, very, very good performance.” Paula rambled. Simon said “I thought that was, probably, your best performance so far.” I’m inclined to agree, and I was completely astounded by Syesha’s power at the end of Hollywood Week. “You sold the song very, very well,” Cowell declared.

Chikeze sang the upbeat “I’ve Just Seen a Face,” in a changed arrangement I still really liked. Everything was good but the odd harmonica playing right in the middle, an instrument he’d only just learned. I thought he played it quite well, but I didn’t at all get why he wanted to put it in. He gave the song a lot of heart, however, and I enjoyed the performance. Randy said there were “some good parts” and “some bad parts,” and thought it was a “very weird, strange arrangement.” Paula cried “I love it, I love it, I love it.” Simon said that harmonica playing was “literally atrocious.” “It started out okay…and then you played the harmonica,” he sighed. In closing, Cowell called it all “gimmicky.”

It was petite Ramiele Malubay who closed the show, which I thought an odd choice despite her powerful voice. I like Ramiele as much as anybody, but she always seems to be missing some spark on stage. Singing “I Shoulda Known Better,” the performance was very strongly sung but I felt little emotion. Randy told her “I wasn’t jumping up and down,” while Paula said something I didn’t bother to make a note of. Simon said it was all “very amateurish” and said of the contestants, “you chose really mediocre songs.”

But of them all, who was the worst? The pure fun of Idol is asking others who they love - and then finding out who they hate. Mutual likes and dislikes lead to great discussion, while opposite likes and dislikes can lead into huge debate. The truth of the matter is, today it’s already all been decided. Kelly Pickler is preparing for her upcoming performance, and soon enough one of them will be going home. No matter what.