American Idol‘s Top 7 got to study the week’s theme under Quentin Tarantino, truly one of the greatest directors in cinematic history. I expected really great tunes from really great flicks. I got a bunch of tired love songs, many of them unrecognizable as part of any cinematic soundtrack.

Ryan Seacrest chatted up the band, which has been moved to the stage. He then turned to the panel to say hello, a time-wasting tactic that was quite misplaced considering Idol almost always runs late. He called it “an historic evening.” Simon Cowell called it “unfortunate.”

“Tonight, we have to talk two at a time,” he explained. Idol is, as usual, having time constraints.

Finally, the Top 7 were brought out on stage together. A Tarantino montage of clips then played to pay homage to the mentor. He deserves all the praise he can get - unless one wants to talk about vampire movies. With proper introductions now in place, it was finally time for the singing.

Allison Iraheta sang “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing,” which is an abysmal choice even for a great singer like Allison. How many times can we really hear this song? I would never have expected something so unoriginal from Idol’s rocker girl. Her breathy, boring performance probably didn’t win a lot of points with anyone but established Iraheta fans. Paula Abdul thinks Allison has “the same special sauce” as Adam Lambert, calling her a “remarkable, talented young lady.” Simon Cowell made a crack about Paula’s comment, then added, “I think, Allison, you are the girl’s only hope left in this competition right now.”

Anoop Desai chose the extremely threadbare “Everything I Do (I Do for You)” from Bryan Adams. This song has been done so much on Idol, it should be blacklisted. I don’t know what is going on with these song choices for the Top 7 performance round, but it’s all terrible. Anoop’s performance of said song was very vocally strong and emotionally beautiful, but that doesn’t make it a good song choice and nothing ever will. “Yo!” Randy Jackson began in his usual way. “You have definitely found your zone, dude. You are rockin’ the house,” he praised. Kara DioGuardi also praised his vocals and the emotion he showed.

The changed judging technique employed for the evening was absolutely dreadful - almost as bad as the lame song choices. If I can’t hear actually stood up and gave Adam an ovation to show his appreciat every time, I don’t want to watch the show. I’m sure others feel the same.

Adam Lambert, predictably, chose “Born to Be Wild.” He had the full rock star look and sound in effect for this performance, a la his Rolling Stones redub. Lambert rocked with the band, the back up dancers, the audience up front and anyone else within reach, and he just plain rocked. It was quintessential Lambert, and it was finally a non-boring performance on the evening. Paula Abdul was immediately enthused. “You dare to dance in the path of greatness,” she crowed. Somewhere in the audience, an onlooker screamed “what?!” in utter confusion. “Fortune rewards the brave,” she prophesied. “I think you’ve gotta learn how to express yourself a bit more,” Simon Cowell cracked. “It was a little bit like watching the Rocky Horror musical in parts,” he added, saying that some watchers will “despise it.”

Matt Giraud also chose Bryan Adams for the movie evening. This time, the tune was “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman.” He was at the piano again for this oft-heard ballad. When I think of music from cinema, I guess I think of totally different types of songs altogether. But that doesn’t mean Giraud’s vocals weren’t good, and they usually are. Still, it was boring anyway and I can’t bring myself to want to root for him to win. He’s also relying far too heavily on his falsetto. Every song just doesn’t call for it, that’s all. “For me, man, that performance was interesting,” Randy Jackson admitted, saying it “got a little rough” in some places. He encouraged Giraud not to do too much with the melody of the song. “You took away some of the core melodies,” Kara DioGuardi complained.

Danny Gokey has been learning to play the guitar, but won’t reveal this talent on the Idol stage. He chose the amazingly boring and over-used “Endless Love.” Gak. But Danny Gokey, since the beginning, can’t do a thing wrong in the competition. He’s got good vocals even in the face of bad song choices, and he looked great without his glasses. Paula Abdul “wasn’t sure” about the key Gokey used, but thinks he “pulled it together” and offered a “beautiful, beautiful rendition.” Simon Cowell found that he couldn’t “fault” Danny’s singing, but found it very “traditional” and felt a little “bored” with Gokey’s performance. I concur.

Kris Allen chose “Falling Slowly,” a choice which impressed Quentin Tarantino. This was yet another slow and amazingly boring love ballad, and I couldn’t possibly be more disappointed in the theme or the Idols themselves for this particular performance round. This was absolutely a horrible episode, and with so many similar songs floating around you have to wonder at the selection (or lack thereof) the contestants were given in the first place. Randy Jackson didn’t feel that it quite “caught on” for him, and he found it “pitchy from note one.” Kara DioGuardi thinks it’s “difficult to pick an obscure song like that,” and that it was one of Allen’s best performances on the show.

Lil Rounds won the last-place position on the night. If she makes the most out of it by singing the house down, she’s got a shot of staying in the contest. She sang “The Rose” with a good deal of conviction. She also looked utterly fabulous and sounded great as usual, but by this point I was so tired of drawn-out ballads I just wanted it all to end. Paula Abdul thinks Lil’s choice was great, calling it a beautiful song. Simon Cowell gave Lil a real critique. “I think you’re getting this completely wrong. The song was too soft for you,” he said flatly. “You are not the artist I believe we met seven or eight weeks ago,” he added coldly. Lil tried to get into it with him about her critique, but the show was running short anyway and there was little time for back-and-forth with the judges.

Tomorrow night, one of them will be going home…or, they will be snatched from the jaws of oblivion by the judges’ save, still to make an appearance on American Idol 8.

(You can find all the American Idol 8 posts here.)