Randy Jackson advised American Idol’s Top 13 to “bring it hard” for their Tuesday night performance round. They would each have to do just that if they want to survive on the show - Simon Cowell made the not-so-unexpected announcement that on the following elimination night, two contestants would be sent home.

This shouldn’t be a shock. Do the math: ten weeks left in the show, thirteen contestants. At some point, we’re going to have to lose two at once…so it might as well be now.

The Idols chose Michael Jackson songs for the evening, which gave them plenty of room to succeed or fail. Let the chips fall where they may…

Lil Rounds and her big voice started the night off with “The Way You Make Me Feel.” I was into it from the start, and so was Paula Abdul. The petite judge was up and dancing right away to Lil’s groove. “This is the way we kick off Season 8,” Randy Jackson cried, though he’s said the same twice already this year. “You made the song new again,” he enthused. “I hope I get to hear you on the radio,” Kara DioGuardi wished aloud. Paula Abdul likened Lil’s voice to “an angel singing,” but Simon Cowell wasn’t so thrilled. He called Lil’s a “lazy song choice,” and said he didn’t like her outfit.

Scott MacIntyre sat at the piano to sing “Keep the Faith.” It was a good vocal, but the performance itself was hardly electrifying. “You’re still true to yourself,” Kara DioGuardi praised him. Paula Abdul found Scott’s to be a “magical” and “lovely” performance. Simon Cowell, however, “hated the song, because nobody knows it.” Randy Jackson thought the song choice itself “felt pretty safe.” He wanted more “sparks” from MacIntyre.

Danny Gokey picked “P.Y.T.” which I thought was a pretty odd choice - at first. Paula Abdul was immediately up and dancing to Danny’s rollicking performance and great vocals. Simon Cowell found that the “vocals were brilliant” though the “dancing was hideous.” Overall, though, Cowell gave Gokey a “well done.” “When you got it, you just got it,” Randy Jackson exclaimed. “You’re just joyous,” Kara DioGuardi told him.

Michael Sarver, officially my favorite now that Tatiana is well and truly gone, started out sitting on the stage to softly croon “You Are Not Alone.” He offered up a charming performance, showing off impressive vocals even if his timing was a bit off. Simon Cowell applauded Sarver’s “passion” and “heart,” saying “you gave it 110%.” Randy Jackson finds that Sarver is “definitely one of the best.” “You really can sing,” Kara DioGuardi noted. “You’re likable,” Paula Abdul told him. “You sounded really lovely tonight.”

Jasmine Murray chose “I’ll Be There.” She wore great shoes and showed off a ton of range. “You did a pretty good job,” Randy Jackson offered. “You have great stage presence,” Kara DioGuardi complimented Murray. Paula Abdul thinks the young diva has “tremendous composure and poise.” Simon Cowell found the performance “a little bit robotic.”

Kris Allen appeared on stage with his acoustic guitar, which was a bit of an odd choice for his rocking version of “Remember the Time.” I thought the whole thing was boring and couldn’t help being a little put off by Allen’s weird facial expressions. “The girls love you,” Kara DioGuardi said. Simon Cowell thought the performance was “at times, clumsy.” While Randy Jackson found Allen’s to be an “interesting song choice.” “Very well job done, baby,” he added in tangled syntax.

Allison Iraheta, who previously sang at a furniture store, rocked out with “Give in to Me.” She roughed up her look, roughed up the song and hit a home run. This girl is amazing. “You’re a rock star up there,” Paula Abdul smiled at her. Simon Cowell found it to be a “good performance.” Randy Jackson repeated, “if you got it, you’ve just got it,” calling Alison “one to watch.” Kara DioGuardi thinks Iraheta knows how to “distinguish” herself.

Anoop Desai chose the incredibly famous Jackson joint “Beat It,” bringing lots of stage presence to his performance. The vocals might have been a bit off, but Desai strutted with confidence around the stage. The judges, however, didn’t like it so much. “I think this song is untouchable,” Paula Abdul admitted, and in a way she’s right about that. “I thought it was horrible,” Simon Cowell disdained the whole thing, saying it “looked a bit stupid.” Randy Jackson found that it was “just the wrong choice.” Kara DioGuardi “felt kinda disconnected,” from Desai.

Jorge Núñez chose to sing “Never Can Say Goodbye,” and I really didn’t like it. I was disinterested throughout and found something cheesy about the whole thing. Randy Jackson didn’t like the song choice, Kara DioGuardi didn’t feel an emotional connection and Paula Abdul said something trite I didn’t even bother to write down. “It was corny, and you’re out of your depth,” Simon Cowell proclaimed, and that pretty much sums it up.

Megan Corkrey, or Megan Joy Corkrey as they’re now calling her, chose the Jackson 5’s “Rockin’ Robin,” a song Michael sang in adolescence. If she was going to choose something from the 5, it ought to have been “Muskrat Love,” but I think that goes without saying. Also needless to say, the performance was fairly bad. She even added a little bent arm-bird flap action to the whole thing, though I will say vocally this is the strongest I’ve heard her. Kara DioGuardi told Megan, “you injected your personality” to the performance. Paula Abdul thinks Corkrey is “quirky and unique.” “We like you, but what a stupid song choice,” Simon Cowell snapped, calling it “clumsy and awkward.” You forgot uncomfortable. Gordon Ramsay was in the audience, and Cowell threw it to the famous chef for a moment, but sadly there was no sound. I like to imagine that Gordon’s comment, however, at least included the word “donkey” once.

Adam Lambert followed with a strong performance of “Black or White.” Lambert has a ton of vocal power but he’s skirting on the edge of being a little too showy. Paula Abdul was captivated by the whole thing, and Simon Cowell thinks Lambert is “in a totally different league.” “You could make a record right now,” Randy Jackson cried. “I hope Michael Jackson is watching tonight,” Kara DioGuardi said sincerely. Fat chance.

Matt Giraud was terrible at the piano, and I found him incredibly hard to understand through his rendition of “Human Nature,” a tune I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard before anyway. “You’re a talented guy,” Kara DioGuardi enthused. Paula Abdul speaks in superlatives in regards to Giraud, calling him “talented, sexy, amazing, authentic.” Simon Cowell found Giraud’s a “good, solid, nice performance.” I still don’t see the appeal.

Alexis Grace closed the show with “Dirty Diana” and her own special phone number. For years and years, FOX has used the phone number 1-866-IDOLS-## with numbers 1 through 12 (for 1 through 12 contestants). However, this year they injected a number 13 into the competition, but this last contestant (Grace) wasn’t assigned the number 1-866-IDOLS-13. Why? According to Vote for the Worst, FOX had a great reason for doing this - that number belongs to a pornographic sex-talk phone company. Tee-hee. Since evidently this Top 13 business wasn’t as well thought out as it might have been, Grace was relegated to number 36 phone number-wise. Will it affect the results? We do not yet know.

At any rate, she performed, I thought, a little manically. Grace seems to want to be very, very sexy, which I think might be a little at odds with her wholesome look. The pink hair doesn’t make her look at all punk - on her, everything is just cute. Kara DioGuardi is of a different opinion, saying “You’re a naughty girl, and I liked it!” Simon Cowell found the performance to be “very over the top,” but Randy Jackson “liked the attitude.”

And thus ended the one and only performance round for American Idol’s Top 13. Two of them will soon be banished to the realm of talk shows, wrap-ups and yesterday’s news. Who will it be? Watch the results show tonight.

(You can find all the American Idol 8 posts here.)