I finally got around to checking out America’s Got Talent. I was able to catch a repeat of Episode 2 - which originally aired this Wednesday on NBC - on Bravo and boy was I surprised! America really has got talent - or at least, it sort of does. This show is a bizarre American Idol rip-off (I mean “spin-off”, Simon Cowell is the producer) that follows the the Idol formula a little too closely.

Talent, like Idol, has three celebrity judges: the sympathetic singing star (Brandy), the caustic British Judge (Piers Morgan), and the random pop culture icon (David Hasselhoff!) It is a formula that works, but unfortunately most of the critiques end up sounding scripted. The majority of the decisions seem to ultimately come down to the Hoff as a tie-breaker, for Brandy is too nice to say no to anyone (except maybe the woman who performed a sexy strip tease on stage) and Piers is too mean to say yes to anyone.

Oh and wait! It’s got Regis too, but I guess anyone is better than Seacrest at this point.

The real difference between Idol and Talent, is that while America may never tire of new emerging pop stars, there isn’t much need for a new hit harp player, baton twirler, or um, “stove-on-chin-balancer”. The show is entertaining and the performers - most of them - are indeed quite skilled, but is there really any market for these contestants after the show is over? When it all comes down to it, Idol‘s got marketable talent but Talent has not.

I must say, you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen a man balance swords in his mouth while dressed in an Victoria’s Secret-esque angel outfit and high heels. The amazing Leonid’s plea to return to the next round (after being eliminated) was a heart-wrenching site to behold. Apparently it worked because even Piers reversed his vote. I guess he knows good TV when he sees it and the freak show acts on this show are definitely good TV.