Sunday’s sheer domination by Americans, Tiger Woods and Floyd Landis, in their respective sports displayed the raw power of our American athletes.  With a U.S. team ousting in the recent World Cup and the U.S. Basketball squads not exactly tearing up the court in international play in the past several years, Woods winning the British Open and Landis taking the Tour de France was a much needed shot in the arm for our sports ego as a country.  But, we all know we were going to win eventually, right?  After all, we’re American!

The course at Holyoke was a tough and difficult one for many golfers, inciting some whining from players such as Phil Mickelson, known lately for making idiotic choices in attacking the 18th hole at the U.S. Open.  Understand that this American, this Mr. Mickelson is now being ostracized by many of us because of his non-American virtue of staying cool and winning.  However, Woods displayed the methodical nature that can only be bred in Americans - a winning nature and this was evidenced in nine Americans taking the last 11 British Opens and placing 14 Americans in the top 20 of this year’s event.  Man, Americans rock!

At the Tour de France, Landis continued the winning tradition of American, Lance Armstrong, who won the event for the past seven years, of which part was with only one testicle.  His wins proved that he wasn’t any less of a man, but a true American as we are the only country that can miss some jewels, but still take the hardware home at the end.  Landis didn’t dominate the event from commencement to conclusion, but he was merely setting all the riders up for that swift American punch at the end that would knock them all out.  Wow, Americans just rule!

Soon, we will be continuing our dominance with a world championship in basketball later this summer because we have a team with LeBron James, Chris Paul, but most importantly, a team of Americans.  There’s no way we’re losing.  We will be on top of the game that we invented once again. 

And the World Cup?  Just wait four years when we take the Cup from the Italians! Trust me, I’m American!

PLEASE NOTE: The author is being sarcastic in his extreme pro-American slant in this story.  While he does love America, he understands that America isn’t the best at everything.  However, that does not preclude that he doesn’t think that HE’s the best at everything.