Oh gay, gay, gays. What to do with your wacky wacky ways?  As much as you would like to consider yourself open and an accepting group of people, I beg to differ. Take a look at these two examples:

Where do I begin? How do you accept this?

One - the above display is why I hail NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg for fining restaurants that use trans fats in New York City.  It’s frightening that this trend of obesity continues to plague America’s population. It’s even now penetrating the gays’ backyard. With indifference on how to stem the epidemic, we sort of cattle prod them back into their group or herd and ignore it completely. Even on a grand scale, gays rather not deal with it. Global warming or an obese nation… it’s an age-old question of the 21st century as to which to tackle first.  So, remember, we are not laughing with you, we are laughing at you, young man. What I don’t quite understand is that odd shaped bulge in front of his… um… stomach.

Two - I find it quite ironic that this fruitastic young man will get a date. I could be wrong and he probably already has a date, but sane, normal, non-attention seeking gays have a hell of a time finding anything. Do we have to lower our morals and expand our waistline for a decent night on the town?

I’m not just picking on the chubby sect, but these entanglements seem to seep into all the cliques in the community.

Then you have this:

The above is one of the first true gay archetypes. The “muscle bound, vein popping, meth, steroids shrinking up most everything” gym fellas. Can’t you tell I’m jealous? Dirty shame. How often do you see these guys with anyone besides caricatures of themselves? As a friend said to me, they normally look like they have, “a dash of down.” Mental incompetence. That’s God’s joke on the rest of “us.” I believe it’s a hierarchy and since we don’t have a monarchy rule, but we got somewhat close with the Clinton’s, we must be good little subjects and fawn with envious eyes the guys whom 75% of the community will never have. Survival of the fittest.

It’s hard to transcend the gay class even if you work out, slim down, and gain educational points. It doesn’t matter as they will not accept you. That’s why first impressions are a must. They will always remember you as what they saw you first and please make sure it’s a doozy.  You got one shot.  But, yet again, Judge Judy sums it up best, “Beauty fades, dumb is forever!”