Your serious relationships really don’t happen until after college.  I found myself just fooling around before that.  You have so much time.  I know social pressures are hard, but no, you don’t need to get married and have kids. 

Take part in activities you enjoy, and make aquaintances through that if you’d like.  Fill yourself with activities (volunteer, go to the park, join chat rooms, visit museums, go rollerblading, whatever) and don’t sit around thinking too much.  I’m always busy doing one thing or another, and I don’t feel that lonely as a result.  The people here are great too, as you’ve seen.

😛

I’ve barely posted here, but I’ve been lurking.  And it seems like you can get a pretty honest answer out of everyone here.  So I want people to be brutally honest, even though some of the things I’m going to say are going to sound really stupid.

Lately, I’ve been feeling really…invisible.  Like my life just happens without me having to take any part in it.  I’m a junior in college, and I feel like I haven’t really lived.  The worst part of it is feeling like no one really understands.  I do believe that the majority of my friends actually could not sympathize with me. 

A big part of the problem is my social life.  I think I’m a pretty friendly person, and that’s fine.  But I have issues staying in relationships (the boyfriend/girlfriend kind).  No one agrees with me that it’s perfectly fine to want to be single and unhitched.  While it would be great to be in a relationship, I don’t see the need to rush it.  All of my friends are in relationships, and they think it’s the best thing since sliced bread.  I’m always the third wheel and I’m always made to feel like I’m lacking in some way, because I’ve never had a meaningful relationship.

Could there possibly be something inherently wrong with me that scares people away (I really hope not, because I’d consider myself pretty “normal”)?  Is this really what life is about?  Go to college, get married, have kids, and die?  It seems so…primitive.  Isn’t there more to life?  Or am I just kidding myself?

You sound completely normal.  For now you are happy doing your own thing and that is great.  I was in a really really long reationship and once I was out of it I can’t explain how happy I am to be alone.  There is something to say about independence.  It is refreshing and wonderful.  You will want relationships someday it’s just not right now. Enjoy yourself and enjoy your time and try not to worry. You aren’t invisible. You’ll show yourself when you are ready.  I hope this helps you out in some way.  If you ever want to chat.. you can IM me.

[quote author=“jbeana”]A big part of the problem is my social life.  I think I’m a pretty friendly person, and that’s fine.  But I have issues staying in relationships (the boyfriend/girlfriend kind).  No one agrees with me that it’s perfectly fine to want to be single and unhitched.

Oh, it is totally perfectly fine. There is no problem with being single, in fact i could point you to a lot of people who wish they were single but just wont break-up. Single life is great, you are so free. Your “friends” are giving you bad advice here… you sound cool, don’t let them tell you how to feel.

I’m a college junior, too, and I’ll tell ya its rough. But its rough for everyone. Some people just hide it better than others, but everyone’s havin tough time dealing with school, work, homework, and a social life. But thats part of livin, and its what makes livin great.

hey man,
  i’m sorta in teh same boat, everywhere around ya, it seems like everyone is gettin hook’d up and hitched for marriage. ya, its nice to be in a relationship, but you gotta enjoy teh single life while you have it. its time to let loose and have fun. ya get to meet a lot of girls without getting in trouble :D

i understand the third wheel thing, trust me, i do. its no picnic, but you do learn to get over it, and when you see them argue or you see your guy friends geting in trouble for lookin at other girls, you smile, and you laugh. luckily, my friends try not to make an issue out of it, and for that i’m thankful for.

when u go out with friends, try inviting some single people to go out as well, it def helps out teh situation.

we’re young. the real world is out there, it isnt going anywhere. we have the rest of our lives to get serious, mind as well take the opportunity to get stupid and have fun now.

Thanks so much guys!  I’m feeling much better.

NP.  Try to get some of those other lurkers to come in too.  :D

haha, will try my best