Thank goodness for the Super Bowl. If you are having a tough year in your main fantasy basketball league like I am, maybe you welcome the distraction as well. After being inspired by Sarge’s one man rant on Eric Snow, I figured I would throw myself a pity party. Because I am in need of a new hobby to relax from my main hobby after the events of the last few weeks especially. So what’s been going on, you ask? If you are willing to be my Frasier, I am happy to take advantage of your listening skills.

If you are hoops junkie, you have more than a few fantasy teams. But one league usually stands out as the one that matters the most. And for me, this is the league that is kicking me to the curb right now.

1. My match-up of the week tends to light up every time, but just against me.

It was week 14 and my opponent sports Jason Kidd on his roster. I was in the playoff mix going into the week, and by the next Monday, I was on the outs looking in. Kidd did more than his fair share, dropping in triple doubles like there was no tomorrow. So what does he do this week when I need him to knock down a playoff contender for me? You guessed it: games of zero points/five turnovers, and a two assist game before that.

This phenomenon comes out in other ways too. The same team that owns Kidd also sports Carmelo Anthony on the roster. During his 15 game suspension, fantasy teams ran up the score on this fantasy owner ad nauseum. Alas, the fantasy gods have Melo return to action just in time to face me, and with a four game week to top things off. Sprinkle in a two-game week for Tracy McGrady and Lebron James discovering his toe just ain’t the same, and the results were disasterous for me.

2. When it rains, it pours.

When you pick someone like T-Mac, you expect him to miss some games. You just hope his overall value works out in the end, and he does not miss weeks or even months at a time. The problem is my team has shown that it has been unable to pick up the slack. In the same weeks, he has been out, it seems my shooters are laying up enough bricks to build another Trump tower, and my rebounders could not clean the glass if it hit them right in the face. Nothing’s in sync, and the schedule never matches my team’s current plight. If I’m running hot, I am playing a team I would have creamed with just a modest week. All this has led to a mediocre record; I cannot win big at all, but I certainly have lost big.

3. I am tripping repeatedly over the waiver wire.

I had a feeling on Paul Millsap early on. He was getting some minutes to start the season, and at the time Utah had no injury problems. Of course the playing time dried up. Then when it was time to give him a true test run because Carlos Boozer gets injured, that’s the day I decide to go to bed early. Surely many readers out there have had similar experiences.

Another example would be Jason Kapono. I picked him up a few weeks back while Dwyane Wade was out, because I needed the boost in three-pointers. While I had him, his shooting went cold, and the other problems on my team led me to cut him and go in another direction. Now he’s running hot again. So this morning I figure it’s time to recycle this player. By now you know what transpired. My opponent for the coming week has already snatched him up. Great.

4. My top guns have turned out to be more like lame duck-duck Goose.

Every winning fantasy team starts with a solid core. Unfortunately my core this year has more holes than Swiss cheese. It turns out ‘Bron probably has been dealing with this toe problem for quite a while now, enough to stunt his expected stats by about 10 percent for the year. Chris Kaman emerged last year as a solid center option; I should have known better than to just the Clippers. How about home-town mainstay, Morris Peterson? The former reigning NBA iron man missed his first game in years on Morris Peterson iron man figurine night, and he currently is buried within the deep Raptors’ rotation. MoPete was meant to balance out the riskiness of McGrady, as was one of my new faves, Joe Johnson. Joe became the NBA’s iron man after MoPete went down, but he too has missed games this year. I don’t need Mr. T; I pity the fool that is myself.

5. It’s always personal, but this is too much.

The best leagues to be in have the most bragging rights at stake. Unfortunately the potential for glory always couples itself with the opportunity for ridicule. Right now both of my brothers-in-law AND my sister sit above me in the standings. I will be forced to avoid family dinners for the next while. Or at least wear a bag over my head.

I took a vacation last month and during that week, my first brother-in-law took the opportunity to run up the score on me. At the time, he had been carrying Tyronn Lue and Brevin Knight for some time, even though both were injured. That week they were tagged out for healthy bodies and my whole bench went limp. Plus Wade was conveniently injured at the time. Yep, just as I alluded to above, Wade came back just in time to wreck havoc on me. C’mon Flash, you don’t even know who I am!

Note to self; all siblings get lumps of coal next Christmas.

6. The other league members have horseshoes where the sun don’t shine.
How is it that a team that has lost its first FIVE draft picks (Allen Iverson, Yao Ming, Antawn Jamison, Richard Jefferson, and Raja Bell) finds itself still in playoff position and continues to gain ground on my team, which for the most part is completely healthy!?

There have been so many injuries this year, but what this team has been able to do with its roster so depleted amazes me. And the owner of this team tells me his life has gotten easier. He cannot do much anyways, so the urge to tinker with you line-up disappears and he ends up looking great!

Of course, I play him in two weeks, so by then, I am sure at least AI and Raja will be back. Heck, I would bet even money that his whole team comes back, AND Tim Hardaway comes back fresh from his appearances on Pros vs. Joes and to rain threes on the league again.

Who’s currently leading the league, you ask? He is waiting to re-appear on this site, but that would be Ron Chow. The same Ron Chow who already took home the fantasy football trophy this year, and is also leading the hockey pool. Guess you never learned about sharing the wealth, bro.

So with that, I am resigned to the fact that this is not my year. I narrowed down my new activity choices to teaching myself Spanish or baking. A good friend pointed out that she would benefit more from the dessert production so baking it is. I made some cupcakes yesterday to get my mind off of hoops. After all, when your subconscious dwells on a professional athlete’s toe, it’s time to change things up in life. So enjoy the holiday that is the Super Bowl, everybody. I am off to the grocery store to buy ingredients for a coffee cake…and the phone is off the hook just in case one of my siblings wants to talk the talk.

Feel free to post your comments regarding the rough waters your own team has faced this year. Trust me, I feel your pain.

Peace.