In honor of the opening weekend of Skyfall, the new James Bond movie, we present our first ever James Bond Awards.

Best Bond Movie directed by a cross-dressing fetishist: Lee Tamahori’s Die Another Day

Best Bond Bad Girl: Luciana Paluzzi (Thunderball)

Best Bond Good Girl: Diana Rigg (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service; don’t even bother arguing)

Worst Bond Movie: Moonraker (1979). It was so bad that I wouldn’t go see A View to a Kill in the theater years later.

Best Bond Cameo: George Lazenby as J.B. in The Return Of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (1983)

Best Villain In An Awful Bond Movie: Christopher Walken in A View to a Kill (1985)

Half-Asleep Bond Villain: Michael Lonsdale as Hugo Drax in Moonraker

Best Henchmen Fight Never Filmed: Jaws (Moonraker; The Spy Who Loved Me) Vs. Tee Hee (Live and Let Die).

Best Henchmen Fight Never Filmed Runner-Up: Oddjob (Goldfinger) Vs. Rosa Klebb (From Russia with Love)

Worst Bond Theme: Never Say Never Again (1983)

Greatest Character Name Ever: ##### Galore (Goldfinger) (And I think the site monitor's going to censor that!)

Worst Character Name Ever: Christmas Jones (The World Is Not Enough)

Best Chase Scene: the ski sequence from On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Best Bond Couple: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd in Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Most Anticipated Bond Movie of 2012: Skyfall

[Artwork: Skyfall]