Prince William has finally picked a bride, Kate Middleton, the only girl in London without a tattoo of an old boyfriend’s name or an upskirt photo on the internet. It’s a terrific moment for the Royal Family and for journalists who can postpone writing about the economy for a few more months.

But now you have some hard choices to make. You’re a comic book fan and a fan of the Royals. So what can you give them as the perfect wedding gift? Yes, you could get them something spectacular from Harrods, but won’t the rest of England be doing that? And do they really need a new toaster or some monogrammed tea cozies?

You can’t go wrong with comics. It’s the universal language, especially if your universe’s language is in the US, Canada, Australia and the UK. So don’t panic. Here are some friendly comic book choices. Pick the right gift and you might even get a knighthood. Apparently they give them out like tiny Cadburys at Halloween.

King Aroo (Library of American Comics/IDW): The comical and fantastical adventures of a different kind of king, by the acclaimed cartoonist Jack Kent. Dean Mullaney and his crew have put together an awesome book that both Royals can enjoy while their bodyguard reads it to them.

Prince Valiant (Fantagraphics): A knight during the time of King Arthur, Hal Foster’s beautiful classic is being collected by Fantagraphics. One or two volumes would be nice for the royal couple. They can pretend it’s history.

Muppet Sherlock Holmes (Boom! Kids): Delightfully British and yet packed with Muppets, BOOM! offers up a great series suitable for kids of all ages. Written by Patrick Storck and illustrated by Amy Mebberson, there are three issues out now and a fourth forthcoming. A trade compilation will probably be released in time for the wedding, unless Kate is preggers and they have to speed things along.

Camelot 3000 (DC Comics): The deluxe edition of this royal classic by Mike W. Barr and Brian Bolland (a British citizen) is still in print. A wonderfully modern twist on the legend of King Arthur, it’s sure to please any fan of the original stories. (And if you have to ask where Camelot #1-2999 are, it's probably best to move on.)

Hellboy: He could be a descendant of King Arthur and the rightful king of merry ol’ England (well-played, Mike Mignola, well-played). Besides being enjoyable stories, it could let Prince William know that he has competition for the throne from a fictional demon. I think they should start at the beginning: Hellboy: Seed of Destruction and Hellboy: Wake The Devil. All hail, King Hellboy!

V For Vendetta: Now that England has taken a hard right turn politically and is increasing surveillance of their people, decreasing rights, and helping the middle class to prop up the rich, Prince William might need to see a copy of Alan Moore and David Lloyd’s classic graphic novel if only to see where it all could end up. (If he does read it, it’ll probably be one of the gifts that gets exchanged for stemware.)

Prince William #1 (Bluewater): Oh it’s not out yet, and it’s not even announced, but you know it’s coming before the wedding, so you can always pick it up at the last minute.

And finally, if, because of the recession, you’re feeling the pinch, you could just give the happy couple a link to Paul Gadzikowski’s funny webcomic, Arthur King of Time And Space.

Many of these projects use small words of few syllables, so it should be easy for a member of the Royal Family to follow along, even if they have to use their counting finger to guide them.

Now go forth and shoppeth at Ye Olde LCS or Ye Moderne Online Emporium!

[Artwork: Camelot 3000 by Barr and Bolland, © DC Comics; Muppet Sherlock Holmes from Boom!]