Janet Jackson said the realization of her brother Michael’s passing only hit her three months after his death.

The “Make Me” singer said she had avoided everything that could remind her of her brother after he suddenly passed away in June, until she was about to perform at the MTV Video Music Awards in September, when she saw a huge picture in tribute to him.

Janet, 43, said, “It hit me before I was about to do the performance, and it hit me when we were in rehearsal. There was a huge image of him on this screen, and I started to cry. I had to step away.”

She also said that she is continuing to come to terms with the singer’s death, of acute intoxication by the anesthetic Propofol, but that she feels in future things will get easier.

She added, “You know, a day doesn’t go by where you don’t think about him. It’s always there, in every sense. “But it will get better. It’s not easy, but I know with time it will get easier. But it will never be easy. It’s my brother.”