The details of this story so ridiculous, they’re almost too pathetic not to be true.

Not only has Lost Boys’ star Corey Haim claimed to be an ex of Victoria Beckham, he admits their relationship suffered from bad kissing and a poor choice of boy bands.

The 36-year-old says he met a then Posh Spice when she and her fellow group members were recording in a London studio back in 1995. (What he was doing there is unclear.) After he seeing the five ladies enter, Haim apparently felt it was his duty to make the moves on the sour-faced gal. “These five punk rock chicks walked in and there was Vic - boom. So I had to hang out with her, it was my job as a man.” (I believe it is also your job as a man to get a job.)

And while one would think David Beckham would only align himself with a woman who knew what she was doing, Haim says his ex needed some help when it came to lip-locking.

“When she kisses she does this little grrhh thing. What did it feel like? Like a girl gnawing on your lip!”

I’m betting Haim would appreciate anyone gnawing on his lips at this point. So what eventually ended things for Corey and Victoria? Take That. Yes, a supposed argument over Posh’s love for the British boy band was what drove these two apart. Again, too pathetic not to be true.

Interestingly enough, this big dating reveal comes just a week before the Season Two premiere of The Two Coreys. (The show debuts June 22 on A&E.) So was this whole story a publicity stunt? Probably. But I’m sure Posh is looking at Becks right now and not really caring.