Every once in a while there’s a story you personally wish wasn’t true. This one would be mine.

On May 12, Jennifer Butler Murray, wife of comedian Bill Murray, filed for divorce in Charleston, South Carolina. And while most of us are used to hearing the overused phrase “irreconcilable differences,” what Jennifer had to say in those papers could put the Charlie Sheen-Denise Richards feud to shame.

According to the court documents, Jennifer blames “adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addictions and frequent abandonment” as the reasons for the end of her 10-year marriage.

Butler also felt it was necessary to file a restraining order against Bill due to his reportedly violent nature. Despite moving with their four children into a separate residence back in 2006, Murray allegedly came to his estranged wife’s home and physically harmed her. The Lost in Translation star supposedly “hit her in the face and then told her she was ‘lucky he didn’t kill her.’ ”

When asked for a response to the complaint, Bill’s lawyer offered up this statement:

“Bill Murray is deeply saddened by the dissolution of his marriage to Jennifer. Mr. and Mrs. Murray remain loving parents, committed to the best interests of their children. Mr. Murray asks that the public respect his family’s privacy at this difficult time.”

Wow - I really, really, hope this isn’t true. And to think I named him one of my Top Ugly (Yet) Funny men!