J. K. Rowling, arguably one of the most successful writers ever to walk the Earth, recently took the stand against Steve Vander Ark to argue about Harry Potter, arguably one of the most successful series of books ever penned. A lot of people have made a lot of money off of Harry Potter - including these two. So what could they possibly be arguing about?

Ark signed a deal with RDR Books to publish a reference manual dubbed “The Harry Potter Lexicon,” based on the Web site of the same name. And boy, is Rowling pissed about it. The novelist said she’s had to cease working on her new book due to stress, and that the problems of this lawsuit (and there is one, by the way) have “decimated my creative work over the past month.”

Technically, Rowling’s publisher is suing Ark’s publishers. Rowling stated “I am an author - seventeen years of my work is being exploited here. This is not about money.” Isn’t it? Rowling has an estimated worth of around $1 billion, which means she’s quite a bit richer than her own Queen. All that money - mark my words, all of it - comes from the success of Harry Potter, and while Rowling has alluded to working on many projects which have nothing to do with Potter none of these manuscripts have yet to come to light.

The author also stated she wants to write her own encyclopedia of the Potter world, the proceeds of which she would give to charity. But now she claims those plans have been stymied by Ark. “I would rather lock it away; it’s associated with stress,” Rowling testified. Once a poverty-stricken single mother, it would seem to me a foregone conclusion that Rowling is not only associated with stress but apparently capable of dealing with it (writing seven best-selling books isn’t a bad way to beat the blues). She also described Ark’s as “sloppy, lazy work” and expressed fear that his encyclopedia would prevent fans from reading the Potter books.

Am I in an alternate reality, or did the seventh Harry Potter book not already break every record Amazon ever had? The lawsuit not only demands publication of the book be stopped, but - get this - asks that damages be granted for trademark infringement and profits gained.

Seriously. All quotes aside, all of the he-said she-said out of the way, let’s look at the brass tacks. Both sides are saying it’s not about the money. Oh, yes it is. And might I add that if the actions of other writers are enough to stop Rowling from completing her own projects, I’m not at all surprised she hasn’t published a single - no, not one - book unrelated to her highly successful series.