What could possibly be more surprising than hearing Bill Murray is a drug-addicted, abusive adulterer? Hearing that his divorce has already been finalized!

What was gearing up to be one of the nastiest settlements in Hollywood ended quietly and quickly two weeks ago - just one month after Jennifer Butler Murray filed the initial paperwork. Bill’s wife of nearly 11 years began divorce proceedings back in May citing “adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, sexual addictions and frequent abandonment” amongst her reasons. Jennifer also sought a restraining order at that time claiming the Groundhog Day star had been physically abusive to her.

According to the court document submitted June 13th, Jennifer will have primary custody of the couple’s children - four boys aged 7 to 15 - and keep two of their homes (one in California, one in South Carolina). She will also receive child support and a $7 million lump sum that was agreed upon prior to the marriage.

I guess this means we’ll have to go back to listening about Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards again…