Remember when the Internet was a place where you could come to put a mask on, and say whatever you wanted, however you wanted thanks to anonymity? Those were the golden days. Nowadays, however, with the advent of Facebook, more and more people are wearing their hearts on their digital sleeves. And the simple truth of the matter is some people look a hell of a lot better masked.

There was a time when diaries were locked, stuffed in the depths of a sock drawer, and guarded to the death with stubborn vigilance. Anyone else reading your diary was unthinkable! The embarrassment intolerable, and the public humiliation imminent. Finding someones diary was like a goldmine; for that person became Silly Putty in your hands, willing to do anything to avoid a single sentence being uttered. So what has changed? Why are people becoming so damn open with their Facebook status updates? When you treat Facebook as if it were your diary, an element of self-loathing and attention-whoring tends to walk hand in hand with it. But the truth is nobody really cares about your uninteresting morning in traffic, or the dinner you finally managed to get off Facebook long enough to fix. It’s obvious you need a friend, but putting “Dear FB” in all of your posts isn’t going to help your cause.

This, all thanks to a simple question Facebook “asks” upon signing on; ‘what’s on your mind?’ For some people, this translates into a reassuring arm wrapped snugly around the width of their body as if to say: “What’s wrong, champ? Holding up okay?” Impromptu emotional breakdowns and late night confessionals are the resulting offenses. It could be said that Facebook is the modern day Catholic confessional; only, the person listening on the other side more than likely doesn’t know what to think about your overly dramatic musings. Such statements should be kept in private, away from your 458 online friends, of whom 85% you don’t even speak with. Why should they have to suffer through your intolerable emotionally charged status updates? Keep it to yourself for a change. You’re not helping matters by making yourself out to be a public spectacle, and example of what not to do.

So I will reiterate, Facebook is not your personal diary. Clearly you need help, and Facebook is not the appropriate venue for this. For that their are psychiatrists, support groups, and other specialty services specifically for people like you. So the next time your pal Facebook wants to know what’s on your mind, remember, no one really cares when you make it all about you. So, invest in paper, pens, and a sock drawer to stuff it. Good day.