I’ve really been slacking off on my Big Brother 9 recaps. It’s not that I am not watching. Oh, I watch but then can’t muster up enough energy to write something interesting about the show because, well, it hasn’t been that interesting.

The main headlines of the past few episodes are that Crazy James finally spent life number 9 in the house and Sharon and Adam are now nominated for eviction. James was evicted by a unanimous vote but not before trying to turn everyone against each other and even getting in a few jabs about Natalie’s weight gain in the BB9 house since Matt left.

It was all to no avail. The whole smelly (I imagine) cropped stretch pant or bikini underwear look and holier-and-deeper-than-thou attitude finally got the best of the homeless biker from Florida and his house mates gladly gave him the boot.

The only interesting part of that episode was getting to see how Matt has been in the Big Brother 9 “Jury House”. Residents in the Jury House include Matt, Chelsia, Joshuah and now James. What a bitch fest that must be! I was amused to see that Matt was so bored in there by himself he cracked open a book or two. He quipped that being alone with his thoughts is probably not a good thing and was really happy to see Chelsia walk in the door.

Chelsia, much like people in fabled small towns in Pennsylvania, is bitter. Really bitter. She called Natalie and “bible bangin’ bitch” which actually seemed to make Matt kind of uncomfortable. Long story short: a house full of bitter, ousted and bored ex-BB9 contestants will decide who wins the $500,000. Prediction: it won’t be Natalie.

Fast forward to the April 13 episode. We learn that Sheila won Head of Household in an endurance challenge that had the eligible house guests hanging inside a glass box. Sheila outlasted everyone, partially because Sharon ditched the challenge after 8 minutes and also because she made a deal not to put up Ryan or Natalie if she won HOH.

Sheila told them she just wanted to see pictures of her family and get a letter from her beloved son Mick. Ryan went down without a fight. Natalie had to put on a song and dance about how she is such a good Christian and that is why she would voluntarily lose. I love the risen Christ as much as the next Joe but could the BB9 guests lay off a bit? The house is starting to seem like some twisted Christian cult where bikinis and sexual exploits go hand in hand with crediting God for winning stupid food challenges.

We also learn in this episode, if it wasn’t already painfully obvious, that Natalie’s attempts to play all sides is both publically known among house guests and not at all appreciated. Sharon comments that Natalie is over-confident and maybe that will play in her favor since her strategy has always been to fly under the radar and not piss too many people off. I really like Sharon. She is patriotic, honest, motherly and driven (she vowed to read every page of the Bible if she got on the show). But good Lord Almighty could that girl learn to modulate her voice a little? She is always shouting.

When we finally get to see Sheila’s HOH room we learn that she was a smokin’ hottie at 25. Not surprising since she was a Penthouse Pet at one time in her life. Adam comments that he wishes that Sheila was in the house and not “that thing” over there. Sheila seems to have a very nice, normal family and she seems to love her 16-year-old son Mick very much.

Maybe it is some sort of TV Stockholm Syndrome from watching this show week in and week out but I’m actually kind of liking Sheila. She looks darn good for almost 46 and is trashy in a way that is oddly appealing. And while she has done some two-faced dealings she has always seemed to truly feel bad about it which is more than you can say for most of the block heads in the Big Brother house. I also appreciate the fact that she thinks the perfect man would be a cross between former Big Brother contestants Dr. Will and Evel Dick. That shows that even with age women can still have really bad, immature taste in men. Keepin’ it young, indeed.

When the nominations come around Sheila puts up Sharon and Adam like she told everyone she would. Her ultimate plan though is for Adam to win and use the Power of Veto so that she can backdoor Natalie out of the house for good. Sheila insists that she wants to take Adam to the end.

In a scene that conjured up images of back acne and man boobs, Sheila gave Adam a massage and reminded him that she wants him to win too. She also said that underneath her tough exterior lies “a sweetheart girl”. Adam assured her that he sees the good in Sheila. I don’t know where to put Adam. I’m creeped out by his eyes, his highly offensive comment on developmentally challenged children and I’m not even sure he is speaking English most of the time but he does seem like he has a good heart in there somewhere. Remember in a previous challenge when he gave a $10,000 dollar prize to Sheila, the single mom? (Of course another house guest stole it away from her, but still.)

We’ll see who wins the Power of Veto tomorrow night. Big Brother 9 airs at 9 p.m. on CBS.